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Here are practical tips for parents to help nurture grit (perseverance and passion for long-term goals) in their children—without pushing them too hard or making it feel like pressure:
Kids absorb what they see. Talk openly about your own challenges and how you’re working through them. Phrases like:
“This is hard, but I’m not giving up.”
“I made a mistake, but I’ll learn from it.”
Focus your praise on persistence, not perfection.
✅ Say: “I noticed how hard you worked on that project.”
🚫 Avoid: “You’re so smart!” (which can make kids risk-averse)
Teach kids that abilities can improve with effort. Use setbacks as learning opportunities.
When they say “I can’t do this,” respond with:
“You can’t do it yet.”
“What strategy could you try next?”
Resist the urge to rescue immediately. Struggle builds resilience.
Let them figure out the puzzle, write that tough sentence, or resolve a tricky friendship moment.
🏁 5. Set and Celebrate Small Goals
Break down long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps. This helps build confidence.
For example: Instead of “Be better at reading,” try “Read for 10 minutes each night this week.”
When something goes wrong:
Normalise failure: “Everyone fails. What matters is what you do next.”
Debrief together: “What went wrong? What could you try next time?”
Encourage kids to stick with something beyond the initial excitement phase.
Use the “finish the season” or “give it three tries” rule before quitting.
Praise risk-taking, even when it doesn’t work out. This boosts confidence to try again.
“I’m proud you put yourself out there in the spelling bee.”
Share stories of people who failed before they succeeded (J.K. Rowling, Michael Jordan, etc.).
Use movies, books, or real-life examples.
Grit grows best in emotionally safe environments. Keep the pressure balanced with love and encouragement.
Welcome to this eBook on ‘GRIT’ for kids.
Do you hear ‘I give up’
‘I quit’
‘It’s too hard?’
‘You can’t make me!’
Do they whine that it’s ‘too challenging,’
‘too difficult’ or ‘it’s unfair’ regularly?
Then this eBook is for YOU.
Can you, or your child’s teachers, categorically predict your child’s academic success or whether your child will graduate, run their own business, achieve their dreams or fulfil their true potential?
The answer is ‘Yes’ you can, but not how you might think.
When psychologist Angela Duckworth the author of ‘Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance’ studied people in various challenging situations, including National Spelling Bee participants (a spelling competition in which contestants are asked to spell a broad selection of words, usually with a varying degree of difficulty) newly trained teachers in tough neighbourhoods, and West Point cadets, she found: One characteristic emerged as a significant predictor of success. And it wasn’t social intelligence. It wasn’t good looks, physical health, and it wasn’t IQ.
Grit is tenacity, perseverance, resilience and the steadfast pursuit of a task, mission, or journey in spite of obstacles, discouragement, or distraction. Grit enables someone to persevere in accomplishing a goal despite obstacles over an extended period.
I believe I have grit and it all started when my Dad used the word ‘tenacity’ to describe me and I asked him what it meant. I think it has actually defined my life. From having to retake a couple of my ‘A’ Levels, to having to repeat one of my Teaching Practices to constantly bouncing back after disappointments both professionally and personally I get back up and try again. I have grit.
So, this got me pondering how do we teach it to kids?
Do you model it?
Do you simply just encourage your kids?
Do you merely support them?
Do you push them?
What do you do when they falter?
What do you do when they fail?
What do you do when life gets tough?
What do you say to help them get back up again and try again?
Just ‘Pause to Ponder’ for a moment.
How would you describe your grit?
What are your children learning from you about perseverance and tenacity?
OK, this is not about berating yourself but about becoming more self-aware, so if you don’t like what you discover don’t beat yourself up, just decide right now to make a small change that will make a big difference over time to your kid’s attitude to life.
When we help young people cultivate an approach to life that views obstacles as a critical part of success, we help them develop resilience.
If you are interested in building character qualities in your kids that will help them thrive, not just achieve then this eBook is for YOU!
Here’s what people have kindly been saying about ‘Grit’
Children who are resilient are brave, curious, confident and problem solvers. Nurturing these traits in children will go a long way in helping them face the many challenges they will encounter throughout their lives. Sue’s eBook will definitely help ~ Julie Cole from Halifax
Resilience can be learned like any other skill. It takes practice and patience. We can’t shield our kids from all of life’s disappointments and challenges and I found Sue’s book helps as it is bursting with common sense and practical ideas. Jerry Arnold~ Frimley in Surrey
Discussing every possible aspect of parenting, giving you advice and support on topics which affect your daily life. Each free, weekly episode is bursting with practical tips, techniques and ideas.
I will teach you my no-nonsense, simple techniques and give you hundreds of my expert parenting articles, videos and podcasts so you can get back to the business of having fun with your family!
A Practical Guide
A calm, practical starter guide from Sue Atkins to help you handle smartphones, social media, gaming, sleep and online pressure — without rows or panic.
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