Positive Parenting: Teaching Kids About Consequences Aged 6-9 Years.

Credit: Character Education

Children aged 6-9 are developing a stronger sense of independence and fairness. At this stage, they start to understand how actions have consequences. Positive parenting focuses on teaching kids to take responsibility for their choices in a way that promotes growth and learning, rather than simply punishing misbehaviour.

Here are practical ideas and tips for using positive consequences with kids aged 6-9:

What Are Positive Consequences?

Consequences are not about punishment but about teaching accountability. Positive parenting uses logical and natural consequences that help kids connect their actions to outcomes in a meaningful way.

Types of Positive Consequences

✅ 1. Natural Consequences (Learning from Real-Life Results)

Natural consequences happen without parental intervention. These consequences allow kids to learn from their actions.

Example:

• If a child refuses to wear a coat, they will feel cold outside.
• If they leave their toy outside in the rain, it may get damaged.

💡 Parent Tip: Let the natural consequence happen (as long as it’s safe). Discuss what they learned afterward.

✅ 2. Logical Consequences (Related to the Behaviour)

Logical consequences are directly connected to a child’s action and are set by the parent in advance.

Example:

• If a child draws on the wall, they need to help clean it.
• If they break a sibling’s toy, they must find a way to fix it or replace it.

💬 Parent Script:
“You chose to draw on the wall, so now you need to help me clean it. Next time, let’s use paper instead.”

✅ 3. Positive Reinforcement (Encouraging Good Choices)

Positive consequences can also be rewards for good behaviour, helping children understand the benefits of making responsible choices.

Example:

• If they finish their homework on time, they get extra playtime.
• If they help set the table, they get to choose what’s for dinner one night.

🎉 Parent Tip: Focus on praising effort, not just outcomes.
“I’m really proud of how hard you worked to clean up your toys today!”

✅ 4. Restorative Consequences (Making Amends)

Teach kids to take responsibility by making amends when they’ve hurt someone or caused harm.

Example:

• If they hurt someone’s feelings, they must apologise and find a way to make it right.
• If they spill something, they clean it up.

💬 Parent Script:
“When we make a mess, we clean it up. That’s how we take responsibility.”

10 Tips for Using Consequences Effectively

Stay Calm and Consistent
Children need to see that consequences are predictable. If a consequence is used one day but not the next, it confuses them.

Offer Choices
Give your child options to empower them.

• “You can choose to put your toys away now, or they’ll go into the time-out box for the day.”

Use “When-Then” Statements
Connect actions to positive outcomes.

• “When you finish your homework, then you can play outside.”

Be Clear and Specific
Explain consequences ahead of time so your child knows what to expect.

Focus on Learning, Not Punishment
Frame consequences as a chance to learn, not as a punishment.

Use Time-Out as a Calm-Down Tool
Instead of using time-out as a punishment, use it to help your child calm down and reflect.

• “Take a few minutes to calm down, and then we’ll talk about what happened.”

Acknowledge Good Behaviour
Balance consequences with praise.

Avoid Power Struggles
Stay calm and avoid arguing. If a child pushes back, calmly repeat the consequence and walk away.

Follow Through
Always follow through on the consequence, or your child won’t take them seriously.

Be Empathetic
Show empathy during difficult moments.

• “I know you’re upset, but these are the rules.”

Examples of Logical Consequences for Common Situations

Parent Script Examples for Handling Consequences

💬 For Natural Consequences:
“You chose not to bring your jacket, so now you’re feeling cold. Next time, you can choose differently.”

💬 For Logical Consequences:
“You didn’t put your bike away, so it will stay in the garage for today.”

💬 For Positive Reinforcement:
“When you help set the table, then we’ll have more time to play a game after dinner.”

💬 For Restorative Consequences:
“You hurt your friend’s feelings. What can we do to make it right?”