How Do You Talk to Children about Cancer?
Posted by: Sue Atkins
How do you talk to children about Cancer?
Receiving a cancer diagnosis is challenging at any age, but for children in particular, it can be hard to understand what’s happening.
HuffPost Parents asked Mary Costello, a former teacher to recommend books that will help children understand their own or a loved one’s illness.
Here are Mary Costello’s picks for books and my suggestions for books and websites that will help your child cope and will help your child understand the disease, from diagnosis to treatment and beyond.
I hope these books and recommended websites will help you to have those difficult conversations with your family and support you during a difficult time.
Cancer Hates Kisses
Author Jessica Reid Sliwerski was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after the birth of her daughter. Her book, “Cancer Hates Kisses,” is told from the perspective of a child whose mum is battling cancer. Also, a very helpful feature in the book is “A Note from a Cancer Specialist” within the book for tips about talking to young children about a parent’s diagnosis.
Hair for Mama
Told from the perspective of an 8-year-old boy whose mom has cancer, Kelly A. Tinkham’s book “Hair for Mama” is based on a conversation she had with her own son, who wanted to give her his hair when hers started to fall out during chemotherapy.
Our Dad Is Getting Better
A companion book to “Our Mom Is Getting Better,” “Our Dad Is Getting Better” is written and illustrated by three children ― Alex, Emily and Anna Rose Silver ― about their father’s experience recovering from cancer treatments. This book looks at the recovery that’s needed even after chemo, and bonus, it’s written about a dad, which can be hard to find.
You Are The Best Medicine
Julie Aigner Clark wrote “You Are the Best Medicine” following her own journey. The story connects the ways that her child cared for and nurtured her through her treatments with how mothers care for and nurture their children through the early years of life.
The Year My Mother Was Bald
“The Year My Mother Was Bald” is great for older kids who want to understand cancer from a scientific standpoint. Author Ann Speltz includes a long list of resources that might help families during their cancer journey.
And Still They Bloom: A Family’s Journey Of Loss And Healing
Author Amy Rovere lost her own mother to cancer when she was 9; now she works for the American Cancer Society. “And Still They Bloom” is a longer picture book that tells the story of two children who are grieving the loss of their mother in very different ways.
The Invisible String
Though not about cancer, “The Invisible String” is an excellent book for children to read with their loved ones at a time when life is changing, the future seems uncertain and scary, and someone they love is very, very sick. The message of Patrice Karst’s book is powerful: No matter what, you’re always connected to your loved ones.
Stickers On Her Bald Head
Explaining Cancer and Chemo Hair Loss to Children in a Fun Way – Written by a Two Time Cancer Survivor by Chelsey Gomez
This is a picture book with a rhyming story. It puts the concepts of cancer and chemotherapy in gentle and easy to understand terms.
Mum, Where is Your Hair?
A rhyming story which reveals a curious child’s search for their mother’s hair, to help remove children’s confusion about hair loss by Alicia Gleeson-Cherneski
Here are also some activity books and guides for children:
“Because… Someone I Love Has Cancer,” by the American Cancer Society, is part journal, part activity book for children whose loved one has cancer.
“When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness: Children Can Learn to Cope with Loss and Change,” by Marge Heegaard, is a workbook and journal that will help kids process the changes in their lives when a loved one has an illness.
“Cancer Party! Explain Cancer, Chemo, and Radiation to Kids in a Totally Non-Scary Way” was written as a guide by Sara Olsher based on her own conversations sharing her cancer diagnosis with her 6-year-old daughter.
Click on the link to read the full article on Huffpost
For more support about: How to talk to children about Cancer.
- Think before you talk.
- Pick your time carefully.
- Choose who will talk.
- Find a good place.
- Keep it simple.
- Remember their age.
- Be prepared to answer difficult questions.
- Allow time for your child to absorb the news.
- Be as open and honest as possible.
- Explain the changes they can expect.
- Encourage your children to express their feelings.
- Reassure your children.
Here is a very helpful, comprehensive article from Cancer Centre about why should you talk with your children about cancer.
Talking to children and teenagers
Click here for advice from Macmillan Cancer Support