What’s the message in this story about your intimate relationship with your partner?
Posted by: Sue Atkins
The pioneering biologist Bruce Lipton found that the cells in your body are always in one or two modes: protection or growth.
Basically, in fear–mode or in love-mode.
Whenever we feel threatened or judged we immediately go into fear –mode and close down, defend and shut ourselves off.
Whenever we feel safe, we reach out, embrace, connect, expand and open up to love.
Here is a story from my never ending notebook and everlasting pencil.
Once upon a time there were three little wolves and a big bad pig.
Before they left home, the three little wolves were warned by their mother about the big bad pig. So they built a house of bricks to protect themselves from the pig.
When the big bad pig knocked down their house with a sledgehammer, the wolves built an even stronger home made of concrete.
The pig used a pneumatic drill to break in.
The frightened little wolves then barricaded themselves into a grim, grey house of armoured plates, iron bars and padlocks, surrounded by strong barbed wire and search lights.
But the pig blew that easily up with dynamite.
At last, the wolves realised that they must be moving in totally the wrong direction – so they built their next house from stargazer lilies and other sweet smelling flowers and slender branches from a willow tree. It was fragile but beautiful.
The big bad pig came along and smelt the sweet and fragrant flowers and took in deep breaths of contentment and joy. His heart opened with love and he began to dance with joy.
The little wolves came out to see him dance and they all started to laugh and play together. They became great life long friends and lived happily ever after.
The message in this story.
• How is this story a metaphor for your intimate relationship with your partner?
• In what ways do you focus on what is bad, wrong and not working in your relationship?
• How do you create big bad pigs or big bad wolves in your home?
• Have you been warned and taught to fear and mistrust from your fearful and protective role models?
• How have you closed down, withdrawn or shut out your partner to feel safe?
• How have you built walls of barbed wire, padlocks and iron bars around your heart and restricted your life by repetitive routines?
• How is this story mirroring back to you your thoughts, beliefs and your expectations?
• What small change can you make this week to move yourself from the grim, grey house of armoured plates to the fragile, fragrant, vulnerable house of flowers?
February is Pass It Forward Month! So if you have found this article helpful and thought provoking please pass it forward to your friends, colleagues, schools and nurseries…because as they say…“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”