The Behaviour Blogs Series ~ Part 3 The problem is not your child……

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Posted by: Sue Atkins

“Secrets To Well – Behaved Kids” MP3

I think it helps to shift your perspective away from damaging your child’s self esteem to looking at the problem.

Here’s a simple way to do that – just say inside your head when you are getting stressed or wound up….

The problem is the problem – not your child.

Detach the behaviour from your child. You love your child, not their behaviour.

Work out which of the ‘Crucial ‘C’s* is missing.

Is your child not feeling connected to you?

Not feeling capable, competent or able to have some influence in some way?

Are they not feeling important or significant so are acting up to get your attention?

Are they lacking feeling courageous to try something & need reassurance?

Check out Are you using the Four Crucial ‘C’s’*? The Blueprint for Raising Happy, Confident, Resilient Children.

If you’d like to have more of my tools, tips and techniques from Toddler to Teen download my “Secrets To Well – Behaved Kids” MP3 and Ideas Book instantly !

The Behaviour Blogs Part 1 ~ Do you find disciplining your children difficult?

The Behaviour Blogs Part 2 ~ Updating Your Toolkit

The Behaviour Blogs Part 3 ~ The problem is not your child……

The Behaviour Blogs Part 4 ~Three Styles of Managing Behaviour

The Behaviour Blogs ~ Part 5 Mr Best Friend

The Behaviour Blogs ~ Part 6 Kids Who Argue Back

The Behaviour Blogs Part 7 ~ Ms Tuff Luff

The Behaviour Blogs Part 8 ~ Influence your kids rather than control them

The Behaviour Blogs ~ Part 9 ~ If you don’t set boundaries for your kids who will ?


*References to:

B.L. Bettner and A. Lew (1989, 2005), Raising Kids Who Can, Newton Centre, MA: Connexions Press.

Dr. Rudoph Dreikers Children: The Challenge” (Plume)

Alfred Adler Individual Psychology Harper Collins

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