How do I stop my teenager from smoking, drinking & staying out late?

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Posted by: Sue Atkins

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In this episode:

How do I stop my teenager from smoking, drinking & staying out late?

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How To Talk To Your Kids and Teens About Gender Without Seeming Out Of Touch

READ WITH PRIDE

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On the Anniversary of George Floyd’s Murder: Talking to Kids About Racism, Early and Often Is Important.

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Half of UK children playing out with friends less since pandemic

by  Education correspondent

Survey finds a third playing alone more and a quarter playing less sport, adding to concerns over wellbeing.

Children playing football in a park

Over 90% of children surveyed felt that the way they play had changed since the pandemic. Photograph: Yui Mok/PA

Many children are playing outside less with their friends, playing alone more and are less active than they were before the pandemic, according to a UK survey that will add to concerns about the lasting impact of the lockdowns on children’s wellbeing.

The Save the Children poll found that more than nine out 10 children (92%) felt the way they play had changed since the Covid pandemic. Half (51%) said they were playing outside with their friends less, a third (34%) were playing alone more, and almost a quarter (23%) were playing less sport than before.

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Answer

I often say to parents that blaming, speeches, and criticism cut off communication. If you can have a relationship with your teen where you’re still communicating 60 or 70% of the time, you’re doing pretty well. So look for ways to spend time with your daughter, doing nice things with her instead of nagging or fighting.

If you get angry when your child stomps off to her room or doesn’t want to spend time with you, you’re personalising her behaviour. That gives her power over you. Teens like to challenge their parents but this doesn’t mean you should ignore her behaviour.

Look at ways to reconnect positively and look at ways to talk without shouting & reacting with anger. To build bridges not walls between you.

But do talk to her about the danger of hanging out with the wrong people & putting herself in danger.

Talk to her about where she wants to go in her life – what job she wants to have, what sort of house or relationship – help her set some small goals that you can support her with going forward.

Be clear about your house rules & reinforce what the rules are and let your child know she’ll be held accountable if she breaks them. So work out what the consequences are beforehand.

Hope that helps – the main thing is to reconnect & to build back a positive relationship with her so you can guide her into better choices.

Check out:

Navigating the choppy waters of the teenage years – the blueprint for parents of teens

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