I work with lots of parents who struggle to start conversations around their kids devices and putting in safety measures around their use.
Some parents find them complicated. Some parents dread their kids reactions. Some parents don’t know about them.
Most parents don’t know what to say.
But one thing is clear from talking and working with hundreds of parents – a small change in your language makes a HUGE difference!
Words That Work: The Power of ‘Safety Settings’ Over ‘Parental Controls’
So, here are some scripts tailored for parents to discuss online safety settings with children of different age groups:
young children (ages 4-7),
tweens (ages 8-12), and
teens (ages 13-17).
Each script is designed to be age-appropriate, emphasising the concept of “safety settings” rather than “parental controls.”
They are just a guide or your ‘starter for 10’ and of course the conversations may not always go according to plan but I hope they give you confidence.
Script for Young Children (Ages 4-7)
Parent: “Hey [Child’s Name], can we talk about something important? You know how we always look both ways before crossing the road to make sure it’s safe? Well, we do something similar when we’re on the computer or tablet. There are settings called ‘safety settings’ that help keep us safe while we play games and watch videos. These settings are like the traffic lights that tell us when it’s safe to go.”
Child: “What do they do?”
Parent: “They help us by blocking anything that might be scary or not okay for you to see. We want to make sure you’re having fun and staying safe at the same time. If you ever see something that makes you feel weird or scared, you can always come to me, and we’ll figure it out together, okay?”
Child: “Okay, I like that!”
Parent: “Great! So remember, just like when we cross the road together, we use safety settings to make sure everything is safe when we’re online.”
Script for Tweens (Ages 8-12)
Parent: “Hey [Child’s Name], I wanted to chat with you about something important. You’re getting older and spending more time online, which is awesome because there’s so much to explore! But we also need to make sure you’re staying safe while you’re online, just like you do in real life.”
Child: “What do you mean by staying safe?”
Parent: “Well, there are things called ‘safety settings’ that we can use to help keep your online experience safe and fun. These settings help block things that might be inappropriate or harmful. It’s not about stopping you from doing what you like, but more about making sure you only see things that are good for you.”
Child: “But why do we need them?”
Parent: “Think of it like a security guard at a concert—they’re there to make sure everyone’s safe and having a good time. Safety settings are like that guard, making sure you’re not seeing things that could be harmful. And as you get older, we can adjust these settings together. If you ever feel unsure or see something that doesn’t seem right, just come to me, and we can talk about it.”
Child: “Okay, that makes sense.”
Parent: “Great! We’re a team when it comes to staying safe online. You can always talk to me about anything you see or hear online.”
Script for Teens (Ages 13-17)
Parent: “Hey [Teen’s Name], can we talk for a minute? I know you’re spending more time online these days, whether it’s for school, connecting with friends, or just browsing. I want to make sure that you’re staying safe while you’re doing that.”
Teen: “I know how to stay safe online. Why do we need to talk about this?”
Parent: “I know you’re pretty savvy, and I trust your judgment. But even the best of us can run into things online that aren’t great. That’s why we have ‘safety settings.’ These are tools that help protect your online experience, kind of like a seatbelt in a car—you might never need it, but it’s good to have it just in case.”
Teen: “But aren’t those just for little kids?”
Parent: “Not really. Safety settings are for everyone. It’s more about making sure you’re not exposed to harmful content or people who might not have good intentions. And as you’re getting older, we can customise these settings together based on what you’re comfortable with and what you’re doing online.”
Teen: “So, I get a say in it?”
Parent: “Absolutely. It’s important to me that you feel safe and that we’re on the same page. If you ever come across something that makes you uncomfortable, or if you have any questions about what you see online, we can talk about it openly. I’m here to support you, not to control what you do.”
Teen: “Okay, I appreciate that.”
Parent: “Great. We’re in this together, and the goal is to make sure your online time is as positive and safe as possible. You can always come to me if something doesn’t feel right.”
These scripts aim to foster open communication, trust, and collaboration between parents and children of different age groups, emphasising that “safety settings” are there to protect and empower rather than restrict.
It’s about how you say it, where you say it and why you say it.
Putting in safety settings is not a silver buller but it starts conversations and dialogue in households about online safety and that leads to safer homes and better wellbeing for everyone.
Image by Freepik
Here are some of the latest insights and findings:
1. Continued Effectiveness in Reducing Exposure to Inappropriate Content
- Digital Wellbeing Report (2024): A recent study showed that 73% of parents using parental controls reported a significant reduction in their children’s exposure to explicit content, such as violence or pornography.
- SafeKids Online Survey (2024): Found that parents who used parental controls observed a 65% decrease in their children accidentally encountering harmful websites or content.
2. Enhanced Online Safety and Behavioural Outcomes
- Global Cybersecurity Insights (2024): Data revealed that parental controls contributed to a 40% reduction in cyberbullying incidents among children aged 8-14, as these tools often include features that limit interactions on social media and messaging platforms.
- Youth Online Safety Study (2024): Demonstrated that children whose parents used monitoring and filtering tools were 50% less likely to engage in risky online behavior, such as sharing personal information with strangers.
3. Impact on Screen Time and Digital Balance
- Children’s Media Usage Report (2024): Found that children with screen time limits set by parental controls averaged 2 hours less per day on screens compared to those without such limits, leading to better sleep and improved school performance.
- American Academy of Pediatrics (2024): Reported that the use of parental controls to manage screen time was associated with a 30% improvement in children’s mental health indicators, including reduced anxiety and depression symptoms.
4. Increased Parental Awareness and Engagement
- Parental Involvement Study (2024): Parents who actively use parental controls are 60% more likely to be aware of their children’s online activities, leading to more frequent and meaningful conversations about online safety.
- Family Digital Safety Index (2024): Highlighted that 80% of parents using parental controls felt more confident and less anxious about their children’s online safety.
5. Rising Adoption and Usage of Parental Controls
- Tech Parenting Survey (2024): Showed that 68% of parents now use some form of parental controls, reflecting growing trust in these tools to safeguard their children’s online experiences.
- Norton Family Survey (2024): Found that 62% of parents planned to increase their use of parental controls over the next year, driven by concerns about new online risks such as AI-driven content and cyber threats.
6. Innovative Features in Parental Controls
- Future of Online Safety Report (2024): Noted that modern parental controls now incorporate AI and machine learning to provide more dynamic and personalized protection, such as real-time content filtering and adaptive screen time limits.
- 2024 Digital Parenting Trends: Highlighted that newer parental controls offer more collaborative features, allowing parents and children to discuss and agree on safety settings together, promoting a sense of responsibility and mutual trust.
These 2024 data points reaffirm the critical role of safety settings in protecting children from online risks, helping manage screen time, and fostering healthier online behaviours.