I have a client who is going through a divorce and is feeling maudlin about Valentine’s Day. ‘Valentine’s Day is hard enough’ she said ‘when you’re couple & married’ (talk about pressure!) — ‘but when you’re going through a divorce it’s going to be hell!’
So I’ve been pondering how to have fun on Valentine’s Day as a divorced, single, happy woman in my 50’s to help her !
To me life is ALL about your mind-set. Valentine’s Day is only a day and it’s all about learning to live a full, happy and interesting life regardless if you have a partner, a lover, a companion or a husband, each and every day.
So here are my ideas on;
How To Survive & Thrive on Valentine’s Day and beyond.
Here are some dos and don’ts:
- Do make sure you’re prepared. When asked what your plans are, have some plans – have a facial, go to the cinema, plan a great film on Amazon Prime, buy a bottle of bubbles for the bath, cook a fabulous meal of all your favourite things. Dress up, or pop on your Onesie – whatever makes you feel good. Have an answer ready for the well meaning people who want to know how you’re handling your first Valentine’s Day alone.
- How about buying a wonderful book to read? Romantic books that are well written are fabulous for escaping. Choose your favourite author, curl up and have fun.
- Why not buy yourself some chocolate or some wonderful flowers? Fill your house with fragrance and candles, light your log fire burner and either praise God, you got away from your ex, or count your blessings about what the future may hold now you can be, go, & have anything you want in your life free from a partner.
- Steer clear of places couples go. That intimate little Italian place around the corner is not your best choice tonight!
- Go out with a pal and laugh until your sides split. But don’t ‘get off’ with anyone tonight – if you’re feeling wistful and have a few too many cocktails faceless sex will not help anyone respect themselves in the morning.
- Just consider ignoring it. It’s just one day. Take the day off work, gorge yourself with your favourite inappropriate food, and have a duvet day – hide under your covers, and don’t leave your house until Monday. Every year it comes, and every year it goes away again in 24 hours.
- Don’t forget why you’re not married anymore. Either you walked out on him because he was an ‘idiot’ or he walked out on you because he was an ‘idiot.’ Either way, you’re better off without him. Drink some wine, get together with a few girlfriends and celebrate
Life is short – It’s time to wear your party pants !