When The Fledglings Return: A Bird’s Eye View Of What To Do When Your Adult Kids Return to Roost

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“Bird nesting” refers to a living arrangement where adult children return to live at their parents’ home. This situation can be challenging for both you and your adult children, but with some practical tips, it can be managed more smoothly:

Set Clear Expectations: Have an open and honest conversation with your adult children about expectations regarding chores, responsibilities, financial contributions, and house rules. Establish clear boundaries from the beginning.

Financial Agreement: If your adult children are working or earning income, consider discussing a reasonable financial arrangement, such as contributing to household expenses or saving for future independence.

Define Shared Spaces: Designate shared spaces that everyone can use comfortably. Ensure each family member has a private space for personal belongings.

Communication is Key: Keep communication lines open. Encourage your adult children to express their needs and concerns while also sharing your own.

Establish a Schedule: Create a schedule for shared responsibilities, such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry, to avoid conflicts and ensure a fair distribution of tasks.

Respect Each Other’s Privacy: Respect each other’s privacy and personal time. Set boundaries for when it’s appropriate to knock before entering someone’s room.

Respect Individual Lifestyles: Be understanding of different lifestyles and habits. Everyone has their way of doing things, and mutual respect is crucial.

Encourage Independence: While living at home, encourage your adult children to work towards their goals and plan for their independence. Support their efforts to save money and find stable employment or housing.

Family Meetings: Schedule regular family meetings to discuss any issues or concerns. This provides an opportunity to address conflicts and find solutions together.

Flexibility and Compromise: Be open to flexibility and compromise. Circumstances may change, and adjustments may be needed along the way.

Encourage Personal Growth: Support your adult children’s personal growth and development. Offer guidance and resources to help them work towards their aspirations.

Maintain Respectful Relationships: Treat each other with respect and understanding. Disagreements may occur, but maintaining a respectful atmosphere is crucial for a harmonious living arrangement.

Plan for the Future: Discuss future plans with your adult children. Set realistic timelines for when they plan to move out and become financially independent.

Self-Care for Parents: Take care of your own well-being and emotional health. Caring for adult children can be emotionally taxing, so prioritize self-care.

Remember, the “bird nesting” arrangement can be temporary, and the ultimate goal is to empower your adult children to achieve independence while maintaining a positive and supportive family dynamic. By fostering open communication and setting clear boundaries, this living situation can be a stepping stone towards personal growth and a successful future for your adult children.

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