Going back to work after maternity leave is a time of mixed emotions for many mothers – for some it’s a worry, for some, it’s exciting. For some Mums it’s a mixture of both.
Among the many worries I get regularly asked is:
What if my child doesn’t settle in childcare?
What if I’ve forgotten how to do my job?
What if my employer has forgotten me?
How on earth will I manage the morning rush, the commute, the drop-off, the pick-up, the dinner, the bed-time – and oh yes & the small matter of the job?
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. But there are practical tips that can help to make life easier, before, during and after the transition back to work.
- The final countdown
It’s not earth-shattering, but it’s all down to planning:
- Plan your return date – maybe not on a Monday. Have a shorter week for your first week back – ease in. It will be more manageable for you, and for your little one.
- Plan your new routine – what time do you need to leave the house if you have to fit in a nursery drop? Think about adopting the routine that your childcare provider will follow so that your kids get used to set mealtimes and nap-times in advance.
- Plan for illness. It’s an unwritten rule that every child who starts at nursery will pick up an infection of some kind within the first few weeks. If you’ve just gone back to work, it’s awkward to ask for time off.
So, if possible, agree with your partner or a family member that they’ll take time off for the first few sicknesses, and take the pressure off yourself.
- The confidence gap
Quite apart from the practicalities of childcare and the busy new routine at home, it can be a difficult transition in the workplace too. Many women find their confidence takes a dip when they go back to work. If someone else has been covering your work for the last year, it can be difficult to know where and how to fit back in. Some tips that can help avoid that confidence dip:
- Consider staying in touch with work – not every week, but whatever feels comfortable to you, and enough to ensure that you don’t have The Fear when going back. If possible, meet with colleagues for lunch or have a coffee with your boss a few weeks before going back – it can make that first day far less daunting.
- Give yourself time to settle back – leave your out-of-office response switched on for the first day or two, so that you have a chance to read e-mails and re-acquaint yourself with the world of work, before people start to look for you again. They managed without you for months so another day or two won’t hurt.
- Don’t fake it till you make it – if you’re experiencing a confidence dip, and especially if there are new projects or processes in place, this is your one chance to ask questions, to admit you don’t have all the information. You’ve been out of the office for months; nobody will be surprised that you are out of touch with what’s going on at work and need an update.
- The practical stuff in the home
Over time, you’ll create your own tricks to make life easier, and while there are no one-size-fits-all solutions, there are some tips that work in most households:
- Get everything ready the night before – school-lunches, outfits for children, clothes for you. Tasks that take five minutes at night somehow become much more daunting during a rushed morning when everyone is rushing about.
- Have a dinner plan – maybe eat at lunchtime if your kids eat at nursery, or batch cook at the weekend, or buy a slow-cooker, or find some easy-to-prepare recipes that won’t keep you or your partner tied to the kitchen during the small time between work and your kids’ bedtime.
- Get a cleaner if you can, do your groceries online, and stock up on essentials like socks and underwear for the kids, so that an inability to get to the bottom of the laundry basket doesn’t cause Monday-morning stress.
- Supersize your lunchtime
Back at work, there are lots of things you can get done at lunchtime, to free up time at home:
- Do your online grocery shopping, your online banking, or buy your Christmas/ birthday presents. Bulk buy washing powder, pet food or candles online.
- Book dental/ doctor appointments, or your baby’s health checks at lunchtime.
- Do something for yourself – get your hair done, take a Pilates class, go for a walk or a run,
- Be good to yourself
Going back to work after maternity leave can be exhilarating, but it can be challenging. So, you need to look after yourself, in the midst of taking care of your children and doing your job.
- Sleep: staying up late on Facebook might be fun at midnight but it won’t help you at 6am
- Relax: don’t plan lots of big nights out or commit to weekends away for the first couple of weeks back at work – it’s easier to keep it to just work and home, and build the social life back in later.
- Treat: if coffee is your thing, a mid-morning cappuccino could be your new ritual, or a Friday night take-away or Saturday afternoon cake.
- Talk: connect with others in the same situation – trying to balance work and home. You may find tips that you can try, or you may just find it therapeutic to know you’re not the only one juggling.
- Shop: nothing aids return to work like new clothes. Shallow maybe, but almost universally true.
And most of all, give yourself a break. If you need to leave Peppa Pig or CBeebies on a bit longer so that you can have a cup of tea and breathe deeply for a few minutes, do it.
If you need to promise chocolate to a roaring toddler the one time so that you’re not late for work, the world won’t end. We’re not in this for the parenting prizes – it’s OK to just muddle through – we all need to give ourselves a break sometimes and take the path of least resistance.
Don’t try to be a prefect Mum – just a real one!