Practical Tips on How to RESPOND Rather Than REACT. My Pause Button Technique
Posted by: Sue Atkins
Much of our lives is spent in reaction to others and to events around us.
The problem is that these reactions might not always be the best course of action, and as a result, they can make our children, ourselves and those around us unhappy, and can make things worse for everyone & often make the situation worse.
They can often damage our children’s self esteem too unknowingly.
How to Learn to Respond NOT REACT.
The events of the last few weeks have been life changing.
Children have been sent home from school indefinitely, parents are juggling work commitments with home-schooling, managing elderly parents in Lock Down and coping with their own anxieties and fear.
As parents caught up in the maelstrom of events and worried about money, debt & job loss we need to learn to:
When we react it is instant. It’s due to ‘not thinking’ – it’s reacting in the moment – often in anger or frustration.
When we respond it is after considering what we are going to say, how we are going to say it and the impact it will have on those around us.
My Pause Button Technique
My Pause Button Technique is a really simple way to empower you no matter what situation you find yourselves in, as it allows you to press your imaginary pause button, freeze time and consider the consequences of the actions you are about to take, before making a more informed, better choice.
Imagine you have picked up the remote control button to your TV and you simply press the PAUSE button when you feel yourself losing your temper, or losing your patience, or getting wound up by your kids.
This simple action will freeze frame the situation so that you can take a moment to detach yourself from the immediate situation that you find yourself in.
Then take a physical step back – it will detach you from the situation for a split second & that will help you to respond rather than just react.
Now ask yourself: What do I want to happen next?
Is what I am going to say bring me closer to or further away from my child in the long run?
What do I need to say or do to bring this situation under my control?
PAUSE THINK DECIDE ACT
This simple Pause Button Technique is on all my Parenting Made Easy MP3s
“This is one of of Sue’s best techniques I think because as soon as we started to use it things really changed for the better in our house !”
Carol Sedgewick from Manchester
“Sue’s simple idea really helped change our children’s behaviour really quickly and made a real impact on the whole atmosphere in our school.”
Class teacher from Haywards Heath
“It’s brilliant because it helps me control when I feel myself getting angry. Mrs Atkins made it easy to remember so now I press my pause button lots of times.”
Katie, aged 8
“I use my Pause Button when my naughy little sister gets on my nerves”
Adam, aged 9
“I use my Pause Button when my Step Kids come to stay with us – certainly seems to have done the trick so far as I feel far more relaxed ! Thanks Sue !”
“A great idea and so simple – I’ll be definitely teaching the parents and kids I work with your simple technique Sue – thanks”
Children’s Centre Worker