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‘Be careful’
‘Stop running’
‘Hold on tight’
‘Play nicely’
Don’t climb too high’
‘Slow down’
‘Let me do that …’
All these phrases mean well but they undermine & rob children of the experience of learning for themselves because someone else is in charge.
You are the one determining and setting your child’s limits for them, rather than letting your child learn for themselves.
This is not about not not caring.
This is about empowering your child to feel capable and competent.
This is about not automatically rushing in to rescue too quickly.
It’s about letting your child climb a tree but perhaps not when it’s been raining.
It’s about letting them struggle for a few minutes longer than you feel comfortable with doing up their zip or pondering their maths homework.
It’s about not automatically rushing in with your referee’s whistle too soon – allowing your kids to learn how to resolve conflict by themselves.
I think this explains why ‘Helicopter Parenting’ is bursting with good intentions that lead to poor outcomes.
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