I was asked for my tips for The Daily Express today about ensuring Harry & Meghan still spend enough time together.
It’s a common problem as most of us don’t have any Royal Nannies to hand.
So, here are a few of my top tips for keeping your relationship alive after having a baby.
(I’d love to hear your top tips – add them in the comments at the bottom of this blog)
The journey from being a couple to becoming a family can be as tricky as it is rewarding.
How do you keep your relationship strong when your new baby makes demands on your emotions, time and energy?
Women and men are wired very differently – a new Mum will be totally consumed with their new baby 24/7 – and might want to have a cuddle and chat & feel nurtured without it ending in sex, or she may simply feel exhausted – so couples need to be aware of this change which can last up to a year.
Having a baby is a big life change hormonally as well as physically & mentally.
The mum’s body is going through a new life stage after producing a baby, so the couple need to give themselves time to get used to the mum’s post-baby figure & feelings around body image without expecting to spring back like a supermodel. Body image can greatly affect how ‘sexy’ a woman feels after having a baby – wobbly bits and leaking can be a shock to many women, and media images of celebs who have amazing after-baby bodies aren’t at all helpful!
Ask For Help
Don’t try to be a Super Mum – let people shop or cook or clean for you. Even having a break to have a bath & wash your hair is ‘Me’ Time & important as you replenish your energy & get a rest from the responsibility.
Make A Regular Date Night
While caring for your baby might be all-consuming, it’s important to nurture your relationship, too, by giving it quality time.
It can be letting your mother in law look after the baby for a few hours to booking a babysitter to go to the cinema.
Keeping ‘We’ Time is important to your long term relationship with your partner. Don’t take it for granted.
Spend Time Together Talking
Every day, no matter how tired you feel spend time with your partner talking about your day, & sharing your feelings and your worries.
Just five minutes at dinner is better than nothing at all as it keeps you connected, intimate & bonded.
Don’t forget, a quick cuddle, or a kiss, every day goes a long way!
Don’t Leave Your Partner Out
Lots of men feel a bit helpless at the beginning. Get your partner as involved as possible, not just burping and changing nappies, but bonding with your baby too.
Don’t take over & say ‘oh you don’t do it like that!’ The more involved your partner gets, the more he understands how much hard work it takes to keep family life running smoothly & it helps your family bond together as a unit.