When you have great pain in your life – you need a greater purpose.

Whenever I find myself going through a really challenging time I go into survival mode.

After separating from my husband after 21 years I found myself withdrawing into my shell, hibernating –  and focusing on just surviving the challenging times. I closed down.

For those of you who have experienced this type of loss, you know how frightening, difficult & painful it is.

Waking in the middle of the night with hot flushes, the added stress of the Empty Nest Syndrome and financial meltdown – was extremely stressful and overwhelming. I felt sorry for myself.

The added stress of not being in control of lots of aspects of my life also freaked me out and set my pulse racing in anxiety.

The only thing I could control was my attitude and my response to what was happening to me.

I had no idea when my wonderful home would eventually sell, where I was going to live, or what my future held or even looked like.

BUT I did have control over my mindset.

So I decided to be cheerful, respectful, polite, compassionate, and do my best work, write my best articles, record my new MP3’s and keep dedicating my life to working on behalf of parents around the world as I believe raising happy, confident , well behaved, resilient children is important.

I think when you have great pain in your life – you need a greater purpose.

I think giving back, making a difference and sharing and contributing in some small way builds back your sense of purpose, and sets you on the road to a bigger perspective and the road to healing.

It’s Red Nose Day today for Comic Relief so why not donate £5 to buy a mosquito net for a child in Africa to keep them safe and make a massive difference in a very small way.

Why not volunteer to buy a newspaper for an elderly neighbour, visit a sick child in hospital or cut a neighbours grass – photocopy a pile of papers for an overwhelmed colleague or make a cuppa for them?

Don’t wait until your life is perfect – don’t wait for your life to be working – give now.

Give your time, give your energy,  give your expertise or give your money.

It will build back your sense of trust in the world, your sense of  purpose and will help you get through the challenging times keeping a bigger perspective while transforming your life for the better too.