Divorce is a process NOT an event – my technique to make the transition easier for your children.
Posted by: Sue Atkins
Despite divorce being on the increase around the world, parents often feel at a loss when searching for practical support. They also feel overwhelmed, confused, afraid, resentful, or completely frozen in panic about how to handle the changes in their family’s way of life.
Sometimes this fear manifests itself as animosity, which turns the whole divorce process into a battle, with children trapped in the middle and feeling powerless.
And the reason I know is that I have been through this experience myself with my children so I know first hand how you feel.
But I want you to remember: Divorce is a process not an event and divorce needn’t be like this.
You can make positive, healthy choices during this very emotional time and make the transition less painful for everyone.
I’ve worked with many parents going through divorce and one of the main worries is how to tell the children about what is going to happen and what to actually say to them and how to nurture them through the very painful, and often traumatic, process without damaging their self esteem and self confidence irreparably.
Children naturally fear that they’ll lose one of their parents in divorce or that their parents will abandon them. They also fear the changes and disruptions that divorce inevitably brings to their family. Also lots of children often blame themselves for the break up.
When a marriage becomes troubled, a couple often relies on old habits of interacting, which lead to fights rather than solutions. If those old habits didn’t lead to constructive solutions during the marriage, they’ll surely reap no better results during the divorce.
Bitter fights in the divorce courts often stem from these old ways of handling differences and while you may not have been a united front while married, you and your partner must take this opportunity for the good of your children to work together to find ways to nurture them through this time of change.
My 5 Step Self Esteem Process will dramatically lessen your feelings of anxiety, worry, guilt and overwhelm. You will definitely now have a practical, simple & easy way forward.
I will help you to create a powerful 5 Step Self Esteem poster specifically designed to support your children through this traumatic time in their lives positively so you can all feel more relaxed and positive and free yourself from some of the guilt, anger and resentment you inevitably feel about what’s happened.
It’s never easy when a marriage or significant relationship ends, whatever the reason for the split, and whether you wanted it or not, the breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings for your whole family.
A bad marriage can make parenting and life in general incredibly stressful and you probably have said and done things you regret, looking back in hindsight.
But it’s not about pointing the finger of blame towards anyone, particularly yourself, or about driving forward constantly looking in the rear view mirror.
It’s now about creating a positive, hopeful, stable and secure future for yourself and for your children.
The loss of the family structure can be incredibly upsetting and distressing for everyone involved as divorce is a major change but there are plenty of things you can do to get through this difficult time and to move forward.
Learning how to create a 5 Step Self Esteem poster will transform your child’s confidence, give you some tangible and practical ways to help them through the transition and give you some simple, loving ways to nurture their self esteem so their self confidence is not damaged permanently by the experience.
My 5 Step Self Esteem Process will deepen your relationships, strengthen your bonds and give you all a sense of unity quickly and easily.
Doing a really simple 5 Step Self Esteem poster together with your child, on your own or with your partner, will bring you confidence, & clarity and will help you RELAX knowing you have paid attention to detail and that your children will experience love and support in the way that they like to receive it.
Lots of parents pop the 5 Step Self Esteem poster up in the kitchen and add personal photos and pictures to make it look unique & special and what’s so wonderful about this simple idea is that it keeps growing and changing as your child grows and changes too and things settle down.
A 5 Step Self Esteem poster typically has five sections:
- An appreciation about your child from their perspective – what they like about themselves.
- What other family members love, respect and admire about them.
- What makes your child REALLY happy and is most important to them from their perspective.
- How to support them at home, at school and in life generally while they are going through these changes in their family circumstances.
- What’s working/not working from their perspective.
My 5 Step Self Esteem poster is a simple, profound & powerful technique to have in your parenting toolkit – so join me for a couple of hours while we work together to nurture and transform your child’s life.
If you would like to go learn how to do a 5 Step Self Esteem poster or come on one of my family, adult or child workshops contact me on 01883 818329 today to arrange a time that fits in with your busy schedule.