“Not Now, Bernard” – Is this you?
Posted by: Sue Atkins
I read this story today with a class of 5/6 year olds during my “Confidence Classes for Kids” Workshop in a school to ask them if this ever happens to them at home, and how they feel about it, as of course I am passionate about building a child’s long term self esteem and feeling ignored and invisible is not a great place to build a child’s confidence.
But it dawned on me that you need to read “Not Now Bernard” …….
This story is a very simple one but the message behind it is much deeper and more profound.
We can all be so absorbed in our own world and daily chores that we fail to notice the needs of our children. We may pretend to have ‘heard’ them when we’re not really listening at all.
Children are sensitive and intuitive and they know when they are not being really heard or listened to.
I asked the children, “How do you feel when Mummy or Daddy don’t really listen to you ?”
They said, “Sad” “Upset” “Angry” “Fed up” “Invisible”
I asked “How do you know when Mummy or Daddy aren’t listening?” and they said,
“They keep reading the paper”
“They keep watching the TV”
“They just look a bit busy….”
“They don’t look at me”
Then I asked them, “How do Mummy & Daddy show you that they love you?” and their answers were wonderful.
“They make me toast”
“They buy me toys”
“They take me swimming”
“They tickle me”
“They read me stories”
“They cuddle me”
Just for this week ponder how you can make sure your children feel heard, so that they feel important and nurtured. You will be filling up their emotional tank with love and self esteem – what a great and simple gift.