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Here is one of my very favourite stories from my never ending notebook and everlasting coloured pencil.
One day, as I was walking along a beautiful stretch of beach, the waves gently lapping at the shore, I noticed a young boy in the distance. He was bending down, picking something up, and carefully tossing it into the ocean. Curious, I wandered closer and called out, “Hello there! What are you doing?”
The boy paused, looked up at me, and with quiet determination in his voice, he said, “I’m throwing starfish back into the ocean. You see, the tide is going out, and if I don’t throw them back, they’ll be stranded and won’t survive.”
I glanced down the long stretch of sand, scattered with hundreds of starfish glistening under the sun, and felt a wave of doubt wash over me. “But there are miles and miles of beach and countless starfish,” I said softly. “Surely you can’t make a difference.”
The boy listened politely, then bent down, picked up another starfish, and gently tossed it back into the sea. As the waves carried it away, he turned to me with a quiet smile and said, “It made a difference to that one.”
That moment stayed with me. It became the foundation of everything I do as a parenting coach, consultant, speaker, author, writer, podcaster and broadcaster. There are days when the challenges facing parents feel endless — technology, mental health, education, relationships — and it can seem overwhelming, like I’ll never be able to help everyone. But this story reminds me that we don’t have to solve everything at once.
Every small action counts. Each conversation, each piece of advice, each kind word can change a child’s life. I may not be able to reach every family, but if something I share helps even one parent connect with their child, it’s worth it.
Parenting is a journey of countless small moments. Whether it’s taking a breath before responding, listening without judgment, or simply being present, these actions ripple outwards. We may not see the impact right away, but just like that boy on the beach, every time we show up for our kids, we make a difference.
This story is more than just a tale to me — it’s my why. It’s the reason I write, speak, and coach – it’s what gets me up early in the morning and keeps me up late at night. We don’t need to change the whole world in one go. We just need to start with one starfish at a time.
It’s become my mantra: “I made a difference to that one!“and that’s enough to keep me going!
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