‘I had to move back in with my Mum!’ says Tory MP William Wragg. Here are my 10 tips to survive your adult child returning home
Posted by: Sue Atkins
Are your ‘Boomerang Kids’ driving you mad?
I read in The Evening Standard about a Conservative MP who has admitted that he has had to move back in with his mother and father because he cannot afford the deposit to buy a house.
William Wragg, aged 28, is among tens of thousands of Britons who have joined the “clipped wing generation” of graduates, despite earning £74,000 plus expenses as a Member of Parliament.
The former primary school teacher, who was elected to the Commons last May, conceded he was “paid extremely well” but had to move home with his parents in the North West or face being trapped in a rented flat.
“I am part of that ‘boomerang generation’ myself,” he revealed. “In a few years hopefully I will have saved up enough for a deposit.
“I know exactly what it is like. I have complete empathy with people in that position.”
Click on the link to read the Evening Standard Article
As an MP, Mr Wragg is paid almost three times the average salary of around £26,000 a year. He is also entitled to House of Commons expenses to cover the cost of renting a second home in London and renting office space. MPs are only expected to cover the cost of their main home themselves.
Student debt, the high cost of housing, and a general lengthening of adolescence (itself, a result of growing life expectancy) are all contributing to the new phenomenon of boomerang kids – the 20 or 30 somethings who move back in with their parents after once fleeing the nest.
Here are my top 10 tips to help you cope!
Let me know your stories as I’d love to hear them.
“Young adults are returning home to their parents as they can’t afford to buy or rent their own place and this is when problems occur, not necessarily because the adult children treat the family home like a hotel, but often because they do not accept that their lifestyles clash, grate and jar horribly with those of their parents.”
The problems of boomerang kids are very real with parents often bemused and at a loss to know how to handle this new situation. Knowing how to cope and live together as a family again is about looking to the future and setting some simple, clear and specific goals that can be achieved over time. It is important not to get stuck in the present or feel that you have taken a step backwards in your lives.
Here are my ten simple and practical tips that will make the transition to living together once again a harmonious one:
1. Do remember that it is your house and your rules
2. Do insist that your children make a financial contribution to the home – this will teach them to respect you as well as themselves
3. Do draw up an agreement on household chores and basic house rules – then stick to them
4. Do accept that you have to go through a transition in behaviour with adult children
5. Do insist they tell you if they are not coming home at night and explain why you need to know, e.g. peace of mind, security so you can lock the door.
6. Do set boundaries – be firm, fair, consistent and respectful.
7. Don’t wait on them hand and foot
8. Don’t treat them like teenagers and don’t try to control them
9. Don’t forget that as parents you are role models. Make sure that both parents are on the same side, e.g. if the dad expects the mum to do all the household chores the adult child will too
10. Don’t let bad behaviour go unnoticed – if it upsets you then speak to them about it. Work out compromises, solutions and ways forward. Don’t let resentment, anger and arguments build up.
“Boomerang kids don’t stay at home forever. Whilst they are at home it is important to keep the lines of communication open and to talk about what everyone wants to gain from the situation,” says Sue Atkins. “Compromise and thrive – a bit like all of family life really”.