Naughty Child – ADHD or bad parenting ?
Posted by: Sue Atkins
Naughty Child – ADHD or Bad Parenting ?
I have been working recently with a group of parents with children all diagnosed as having ADHD – their ages vary but their symptoms are similar.
I highly recommend getting professional advice from your doctor and Health Visitor, but before going down the medicating route of Ritalin and medication, there are a number of things you can do to help manage the condition and my One Page Profile Process is a very useful tool in helping develop your child’s self esteem ( as it can often take a massive dip at this time of diagnosis) and it will also help you to also focus on the small practical things you can do to help yourself, and your child, feel more in control of the situation and to help you see ways forward in a more positive light.
Despite ADHD being on the increase around the world, parents often feel at a loss when searching for practical support. They also feel overwhelmed, confused, afraid, resentful, or completely frozen in panic about how to handle the changes in their family’s way of life.
Managing a child diagnosed with ADHD is a process not an event and feeling despair, failure, anger & fear is completely natural at first but your family life needn’t be like this if you start to focus on finding practical and simple ways to handle the situation, your emotions, your reactions and then to focus on practical and consistent ways to manage your child’s behaviour.
You can make positive, healthy choices during this very emotional time and make acceptance less painful for everyone.
Learning how to create a One Page Profile will transform your child’s confidence & will give you some tangible and practical ways to help your child manage their behaviour in the way they feel most supported. A One Page Profile will also give you some simple, loving ways to nurture their self esteem so their self confidence is not damaged permanently by the diagnosis of ADHD.
The One Page Profile Process will deepen your relationships, strengthen your bonds and give you all a sense of unity & direction quickly and easily.
Doing a really simple One Page Profile together with your child, on your own or with your partner, will bring you confidence & clarity and will help you RELAX knowing you have paid attention to the detail and that your child will experience love and support in the way that they like to receive it.
Lots of parents pop the One Page Profile Poster up in their kitchen and they add personal photos and pictures to make it look unique & special and what’s so wonderful about this simple technique is that it keeps growing and changing as your child grows and changes too and things settle down.
A one-page profile typically has three sections:
1. An appreciation about your child – what they like about themselves and what other family members love, respect and admire about them.
2. What makes your child REALLY happy and is most important to them from their perspective.
3. How to support them at home, at school and in life generally while they are learning to manage their ADHD
The One Page Profile is a simple, profound & powerful technique to have in your parenting toolkit – so join me for a couple of hours while we work together to nurture and transform your child’s life either face or face here in my Tudor Farmhouse or over the phone or Skype.
If you would like to go learn how to do a One Page Profile or come on a One Page Profile Family Workshop email me at [email protected] – or contact me on 01342 833355 today to arrange a time that fits in with your busy schedule.
FACTS ABOUT ADHD
ADHD is one of the most common neurobehavioral disorders of childhood. It is usually first diagnosed in childhood and often lasts into adulthood. Children with ADHD may have trouble paying attention, controlling their impulsive behaviours (which means that hey may act without thinking about what the result will be), or be overly active compared to other children their age.
Signs and Symptoms
It is perfectly normal for lots of children to have trouble focusing and concentrating and behaving at some time or another. However, children with ADHD don’t just grow out of these behaviours. The symptoms continue and can cause difficulty at school, at home, or with friends.
A child with ADHD might:
daydream a lot
forget or lose things a lot
squirm or fidget
talk too much
make careless mistakes or take unnecessary risks
have a hard time resisting temptation
have trouble taking turns
have difficulty getting along with others
Symptoms and Diagnosis
Deciding if your child has ADHD is a several-step process. There is no single test to diagnose ADHD, and many other problems, like anxiety, depression and certain types of learning disabilities, can have similar symptoms.
There are three different types of ADHD, depending on which types of symptoms are strongest in your child.
Predominantly Inattentive Presentation: It is hard for the individual to organise or finish a task, to pay attention to details, or to follow instructions or conversations. The person is easily distracted or forgets details of daily routines.
Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Presentation: The person fidgets and talks a lot. It is hard to sit still for long (e.g., for a meal or while doing homework). Smaller children may run, jump or climb constantly. The individual feels restless and has trouble with impulsivity. Someone who is impulsive may interrupt others a lot, grab things from people, or speak at inappropriate times. It is hard for the person to wait their turn or listen to directions. A person with impulsiveness may have more accidents and injuries than others.
Combined Presentation: Symptoms of the above two types are equally present in the person.
Because symptoms can change over time, the presentation may change over time as well.
Causes of ADHD
Scientists are still studying causes and risk factors in an effort to find better ways to manage and reduce the chances of a person having ADHD. Current research shows that genetics plays an important role in the diagnosis so ADHD.
In addition to genetics, scientists are studying other possible causes and factors including:
Environmental exposures (e.g., lead)
Alcohol and tobacco use during pregnancy
Low birth weight
Did you Know?
Research doesn’t support the popularly held views that ADHD is caused by eating too much sugar, watching too much television, bad parenting, or social and environmental factors such as poverty or family chaos. Of course, many things, including these, might make symptoms worse, especially in certain people. But the evidence is not strong enough to conclude that they are the main causes of ADHD.
Deciding if a child has ADHD is a several step process. There is no single test to diagnose ADHD, and many other problems, like anxiety, depression, and certain types of learning disabilities, can have similar symptoms. One step of the process involves having a medical exam, including hearing and vision tests, to rule out other problems with symptoms like ADHD. Another part of the process may include a checklist for rating ADHD symptoms and taking a history of the child from parents, teachers, and sometimes, the child.
In most cases, ADHD is best treated with a combination of medication and behaviour therapy. No single treatment is the answer for every child and good treatment plans will include close monitoring, follow-ups and any changes needed along the way and that’s where a One Page Profile can also help practically supporting your family, as well as your child, in the management of their condition.
If you or your doctor has concerns about ADHD, you can take your child to a specialist such as a child psychologist or developmental paediatrician.
One very helpful website is ADHD Together – which is bursting with support, advice and resources to help your family as having a child with ADHD impacts and effects all the family.
Don’t suffer in silence, blame yourself or hide away. Get the support you all need to manage this very challenging and exhausting behaviour so you can enjoy family life again.