Rhythms, Rituals & Routines – The Sue Atkins Weekly Parent Coaching Question
Posted by: Sue Atkins
I am reading the very wonderful book “Celebrating Families” – which is just bursting with simple,practical ways to enhance family life by my friend Helen Sanderson and Maye Taylor at the moment and I can’t put it down!
I keep having to stop and highlight their wonderfully simple yet inspiring ideas and I was in a school today running my Confidence Classes for Kids Workshop when I tried out “My Perfect Morning” with the children as a child who feels heard feels important, valued and nurtured and their self esteem grows stronger and this simple exercise was really powerful.
We had great fun so I thought I would pass on this wonderfully easy way to make your child feel special simply by asking different questions !
We’ve all been there, got the T shirt when it comes to “How was your day?” but to really connect with our kids ( and our partners!) If you really loved me I wouldn’t have to ask we need to learn to ask them better questions.
I have written before about the manic & stressful The Cornflake Rush Hour early morning routines but this exercise is different as it asks your kids want they prefer !
SCARY but enlightening & transformational.
I started out by asking the kids:
- “What would your best ever morning look, sound and feel like?”
- “How would you like to be woken up?” – by Mum, an alarm clock, by Dad, or by your sister ……
- “What would you like to happen next?”
- “Then what would you like to do?”
- What would your ideal breakfast be?”
- “Then what would you like to happen?”
I didn’t judge but that could open up a whole relaxed and positive conversation around healthy eating, toooooo much TV or fitting this into family life with school runs, younger brothers and sisters, packing pack lunches and being practical etc etc
Then we discussed their WORST morning ever.
- ” What would be the worse senario for you?”
- “How would you be woken up?”
- “What would happen next?”
- “Then what would you do?”
- “What would be your worst breakfast?”
- “Then what would happen?”
- “Is there anything that makes you particularly angry, grumpy or sad in the morning?”
This isn’t about giving away your power as a parent but helping you find out about what really matters to your child from their perspective and then deciding on better ways forward because as Albert Einstein said, “The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result!”
Do yourself a real favour and invest in Helen’s wonderfully inspiring and fun book.