HELP ! My toddler has learnt how to play my husband and myself against each other !
Posted by: Sue Atkins
My toddler has learnt how to play my husband and myself against each other in order to get what she wants. Our relationship is suffering as a result. Help!
~ Lauren, from Harrow
It’s all about being clear and confident in what you think are your house rules.
Grab a cup of coffee and a piece of paper fold it in two so you have 2 columns and jot down things that “ARE ACCEPTABLE” to you and things that are “NOT ACCEPTABLE” to you.
This gives you clarity. Then have a chat over a coffee or a glass of wine with your partner, child minder, nanny or grandma – whoever looks after your child regularly and talk openly about those rules – are they the same, can you compromise, how can you both agree and then be completely consistent with your toddler so that they get the same message and can’t play you off against each other or fall through the net?
It’s very important for toddlers to have rules and boundaries because as they develop and mature they learn self control over time from your consistent boundaries.
Once you have got a clear set of very simple rules (not tooooo many) you can relax, have fun and enjoy your toddler years together.