STOP beating yourself up – try patting yourself on the back with my little exercise !
Posted by: Sue Atkins
I usually save this questionnaire for my personal 1-2-1 clients and it’ll only stay up for a couple of days, so grab this opportunity and a pen and take advantage of my unique pat on the back ! Pass it on to your friends before it returns to my exclusive coaching programmes 🙂
What I do really well.
We all take our strengths for granted and often feel embarrassed about blowing our own trumpet, but recognising what we are good at is a very important exercise in maintaining our confidence.
Perhaps you are self deprecating and always balance your strengths with a weakness to appear modest e.g. “I’m really good at reading to the kids, but I always run over their bedtime as they always ask me for just one more story so I end up feeling guilty.”
Or perhaps you don’t actually know how good you are because no one ever tells you, gives you any praise, or passes you any compliments.
Write down all the things you do well: things like driving or parking the car, being a great organiser, speaking articulately on the phone, training staff, being a good listener, delegating easily, teaching your kids to ride a bike, bake a cake or mend a fuse with patience , being able to read a map, able to write reports well, being creative, able to speak a foreign language – let yourself go and keep on writing for 5 minutes.
Now write down all the things you are proud of yourself for e.g. passing your driving test, learning to surf the Internet, passing an exam, learning to ski, starting your own business, using a chainsaw, teaching your son to tie his shoelaces, speaking in public, becoming a school governor – again let yourself relax and enjoy this experience of celebrating all your successes – big or small.
The more you do something the better you get at it as practise really does make perfect.
Try this exercise for fun:
Fold your arms and notice where your arms go. Now unfold them and fold them in the opposite direction. Feels strange doesn’t it? Now just practise folding them in the new way 10 times slowly gradually building up your speed and accuracy. Feels easier the 10th time doesn’t it.
So developing a new skill or way of doing something with your kids is exactly the same – it takes practise to become a habit.
A belief is something you belief to be true about yourself – it may be something your parents, teachers, or other people of importance in your life gave you i.e. that you are good at sport, lazy, tenacious, too sensitive, bad at maths etc or you may believe for some reason that you are not a great parent but beliefs can change. Being poor at maths when you were 12 is not the same as when you are 30 – you can change your belief about yourself whenever you like – it’s all about your perception of yourself now.
Just think for a moment about the beliefs you are giving to your kids – what will they grow up thinking about themselves from the way you speak to them, and behave around them – that they are hard working, tenacious, lazy, never good enough, clumsy, the “poor speller” or fantastic for having a go, speaking confidently, or being loyal and kind to others?
Imagine you are your child what are the messages they are receiving from you?
Parent Coaching is not about blame it’s about change so if you are not happy with what you’ve discovered do something different.
Call 01342 833355 to arrange your personal complimentary 15 minute coaching session with me now.