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An electrician who lacked confidence went to a life coach for help. He wondered why other electricians did better than he did. He wondered why many of his classmates at school and college had more successful careers and lives than he had. He blamed the world for not giving him opportunities and he supposed he didn’t get opportunities because he didn’t deserve them.
The coach asked, “What stops you noticing all the opportunities that exist around you?”
He replied,” Fear of failure”
“So what would you like instead?”
“Confidence.”
“So what stops you feeling confident?”
“Fear of failure”
“And what would you like instead?”
“Confidence”
“Notice,” said the coach, “how this loop in your thinking is creating your stuckness. Now may I ask you a question as an expert in what I do, to a man who is an expert with electricity?”
“Sure”
“First of all, I really need to know from you, do you really want to shine? Will you be OK with that? Can you fully commit to this switch? Or perhaps you really do prefer to live a life safe and protected, like a man in a darkened room?”
“Yes, I want to change. I want the confidence to make changes.”
“On a scale of 1-10, how much do you want that?”
“10”
“Sure?”
“Absolutely sure.”
“OK. So let’s imagine a wooden board into which are screwed three lights bulb sockets. Each socket is connected to a common cable that is plugged into the mains. In the first socket is a 10 watt bulb; and in the second is a 100 watt bulb; and in the third is a 1,000 watt bulb. Switch on. Now what’s the difference?”
“Resistance”
The coach remained silent. Slowly a glimmer of recognition glowed in the electrician’s expression, and then a huge smile spread across his face and illuminated his eyes and whole face. The coach looked at him with a quizzical brow. “Well?”
“Now I have an answer to your question about what’s stopping me,” he grinned. The short answer is “no one but me.” My life is like the 10 watt bulb. It’s me who’s resisting opportunity.”
“Yes, it used to be like that. And now?”
“And now it can change. First I’ll plug in a 100 watt version, and then I’ll go for a progressive upgrade!”
“So before you generate some strategies for success, just remind yourself that life, like electricity, consists of pure energy. This same energy – or call it life force or spirit if you prefer – flows through all of us equally. There is no end to this supply and only you can cut this supply off through your own resistance.
“And now that you’ve stopped blaming the external world for your situation, and have accepted full responsibility for yourself and your actions, you can plug into the abundance, wholeness, beauty and completeness of the universe. It flows within us, through us, every moment of every day.”
So ask yourself this week:
• What lessons can I learn from this story today as a parent?
• How can I teach and encourage my children to become 1,000 watt bulbs?
• How can I repair my own short circuit?
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How to give your kids the gift of self-esteem by clicking here
About the author
Sue Atkins is a Parenting Expert who offers practical guidance for bringing up happy, confident, well behaved children. She is also the author of “Raising Happy Children for Dummies” one in the famous black and yellow series published worldwide and the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy CDs. She regularly appears on BBC Breakfast and The Jeremy Vine Show on BBC Radio 2 and her parenting articles are published all over the world.
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