SAPS99 The number of boys with eating disorders has doubled – Sue gives her tips to prevent it. We explore why being a stay-at-home dad with young children isn’t easy. Plus, Sue is in conversation with Tom Harbour of ‘Maths with Parents’

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Posted by: Kevin Mulryne

 

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Show notes:

In this week’s episode … 

The number of boys with eating disorders has doubled – Sue gives her tips to prevent it.

We explore why being a stay-at-home dad with young children isn’t easy.

Plus ….

I’m in conversation with Tom Harbour of ‘Maths with Parents’

You can listen to the full interview with Tom from the link below:

Sue in Conversation with Tom Harbour

 


Here is a short clip:

Maths with Parents

Connect with Tom

Website

Twitter

Facebook

LinkedIn

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Don’t Stew – Ask Sue Parenting Q & A

Q. ‘Dear Sue, my daughter keeps checking her Instagram & FB for ‘likes’ & she gets upset if her other friends have more. This strikes me as ridiculous - what can I do to help her as at the moment I just get angry as it all seems so superficial. ‘ David Archer from Atlanta
A.

Dear David

This obsession is not for kids 😢

Here is an article that you might find interesting: 

Parenting Blogger faces criticism for saying her son is statistically the least ‘liked’ of all 5 kids

Here are some tips for you: 

  • Discuss real friendship v superficial online
  • Chat about what real friends are, do, & behave eg they talk, listen and are there in real life to ‘do’ things with & like you no matter who you are & through thick & thin
  • Talk about that people only put up positive ideal lives so your daughter starts thinking 🤔about that !
  • Build her self esteem so she’s strong on the inside not just externally getting attention or reinforcement about who she is on the outside
Q. Dear Sue, I’m a stay at home Dad & I feel a bit isolated & a bit fed up not being included in the playground ‘chats’ - any ideas? Pete Delaney from Brighton
A.

Dear Pete

You are not alone – here is an article you might find interesting

Father from Worthing opens support group to help dads with young children

Dan started a new fathers’ group, Dad La Soul.
He said: “The group aims to eradicate the social isolation experienced by dads and give them a fun, welcoming environment where they can spend time with their kids, without judgement.”

Here are some of my tips for you

1. Embrace the role.
Many men who take on the role of primary caregiver resist calling themselves “stay-at-home dads,” preferring to answer the “So, what do you do?” question by naming old jobs, future jobs or jobs they do on the side. Or maybe by mumbling incoherently.
Wear your title as full-time dad proudly and unapologetically, most people will respect that – if you’re not proud, you’re not congruent – and that’s a shame – it’s great you want to share raising your children.
Recognise and defend the idea that being the breadwinner isn’t the only way to “provide” for your family, and that what you contribute to your family is very, very valuable.

2. Stand up for your partner.
Many working parents feel some level of guilt or pressure, whether they are working Mums or Dads or just about how much their job keeps them away. So, support each other and the decision you made together. Relax and stop worrying about other people – just enjoy your time being a hands-on parent.
Remember, your kids have a mum, and no matter what anyone says you’re not her & that’s fine. So, when someone calls you “Mr. Mum,” keep in mind that they are disrespecting your partner as much as they are disrespecting you, by suggesting that what you are doing is somehow actually a mum’s job.
Your children will thank you for being such good role models as co-parents one day!

3. Make sure you both support each other and value the contribution you are both making in different ways.
Be clear and honest with your partner about how much her support means.

4. Negotiate non-childcare related housework separate from care-giving.
Being a primary caregiver means doing a lot more than playing games, reading picture books and changing nappies. It also involves the cleaning, cooking and laundry that are natural aspects of being a stay at home Dad. So talk about these things together to work out your way of sharing them out during the week and during the weekend.

5. Plan what happens if one of you is ill.
It’s all about chatting through possible interruptions to your plans. Planning ahead prevents arguments, rows and prevents resentments building up.

6. Find a Dad Group and get connected.
Many men have a tendency to push against the idea that they need outside support, but isolation is one of the biggest hurdles that stay-at-home dads battle – particularly when kids are very young. So, get out and about.
Check out the ‘Find a Dad Group’ page on the National At-Home Dad Network’s site, and get on Facebook and join the conversation at their online discussion group. If at all possible, make plans to attend the annual At-Home Dad Convention. You may find it a watershed moment in your time as a stay-at-home parent.

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