What Role Should A Nanny Play In A Family?

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Posted by: Kevin Mulryne

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Show notes:

In this episode we discuss:

What role should a nanny play in a family?

Help for Nannies – Handling Flirtatious Fathers, Controlling Mothers and Sparring Partners

Ways to Engage Parents – Ideas for Play Therapists 

Plus …. 

Sue in conversation with Andy Cope from ‘The Art of Brilliance’

You can hear the full interview with Andy here



Connect with Andy



Andy’s books on Amazon

Shine: Rediscovering Your Energy, Happiness and Purpose

Start living the life you’ve always wanted It could be that you’ve figured everything out on your own and have ended up acing your career, meeting and marrying your perfect partner, producing three wonderful kids, owning a holiday home in Mustique and having a drop-dead gorgeous life. In which case, we applaud you. If, on the other hand, you need the cheat codes, then this book will give you a nudge. Redefining the genre of ‘self-help comedy, ‘ Shine is a book about the brevity of life. It contains adult themes of mortality, change, exhaustion and unrelenting pressure. Thankfully, the bleakness is done with humour and the solutions are entertaining, do-able and uplifting. Shine is the literary equivalent of ‘ctrl/alt/delete.’ All you have to do is read the book, keep an open mind, and apply the learning

Paperback – £7.53 / Kindle Edition – £7.16

Click here to order

The Art of Being Brilliant: Transform Your Life by Doing What Works For You

This short, small, highly illustrated book will fill you to the brim with happiness, positivity, wellbeing and, most importantly, success! Andy Cope and Andy Whittaker are experts in the art of happiness and positive psychology and The Art of Being Brilliant is crammed full of good advice, instructive case studies, inspiring quotes, some funny stuff and important questions to make you think about your work, relationships and life.

You see being brilliant, successful and happy isn t about dramatic change, it s about finding out what really works for you and doing more of it! The authors lay down their six common–sense principles that will ensure you focus on what you re good at and become super brilliant both at work and at home.

A richly illustrated, 2 colour, small book full of humour, inspiring quotes and solid advice

A great read with a serious underlying message how to foster positivity and bring about success in every aspect of your life.

Paperback – £4.99 / Kindle edition – £4.74

Click here to order


The Art of Being a Brilliant Teenager

Calling all teenagers—quit the moaning and start loving life!
Don’t be a cliché. Don’t stay in your bedroom grunting and grumbling. How about getting motivated, energized and start making a difference?! The Art of Being A Brilliant Teenager teaches you how to become your very best self—and how to figure out who that is, exactly. The bestselling authors of The Art of Being Brilliant and Be Brilliant Everyday are experts in the art of happiness and positive psychology and, with this new book, you’ll find your way to becoming brilliant at school, work, and life in general. Stay cool under all the pressures you’re facing, and plot a map for the future that takes you wherever it is you want to go. Become proactive, determined, successful and most importantly: happy!

Fact: your life span is about four thousand weeks. It seems like a lot, but it’s not. Complaining about life, homework, parents, and relationships may be normal now, but don’t let it become your defining trait. When you’re forty years old and still moaning, a big chunk of your four thousand weeks have slipped by, and you’re no closer to happiness than you were as a teen. This book is a guide to starting the journey to your ideal life now, instead of wasting time being a drip.

Paperback – £7.13 / Kindle edition – £6.78

Click here to order

Be Brilliant Every Day

We all have good days and bad days. Some days we re on form, others we can t really be bothered and feel a little lack lustre. No one enjoys those slump days so let s do away with them! The wonderful, uplifting and funny authors of the bestselling The Art of Being Brilliant are here to show us how to get motivated, get positive and get happy, and, most importantly, how to be all three consistently. Every single day. Using a solid understanding of positive psychology, but with clear visual illustrations, simple explanations and a bit of funny stuff, Be Brilliant Everyday shows us how to foster some serious positivity and mental agility and transform our lives. The book is crammed with practical tips to help us ditch those down days and flourish every single day.

Paperback – £7.85 / Kindle edition – £7.46

Click here to order

The Little Book of Emotional Intelligence: How to Flourish in a Crazy World

A Self-Help Manual for Human Beings

The Little Book of Emotional Intelligence is an immediate, outcome-focused primer on the important topic of EQ, which provides practical, no-nonsense life advice and takes a sideways look at a world which is complicated and overwhelming at times.

Do you seem to spend half your life counting down the days ’til your next holiday? Does it sometimes feel like your life is being lived on fast forward, with little time for reflection or idle amusement? It’s time to stop kicking happiness into the long grass and get on with really living.

Funny, colourful and profound, this book is a gripping manual for the human mind, enabling you to understand and control your emotions, communicate better, unpick limiting beliefs and finally get around to living a happier, more balanced life.

Paperback – £7.69 / Hardcover – £8.42 / Kindle edition – £9.99

Click here to order

Diary of a Brilliant Kid: Top Secret Guide to Awesomeness

Release date: 15th Oct 2018 (Available for pre-order)

Life, the Universe and Awesomeness Diary of a Brilliant Kid is the “tweenager’s” atlas for navigating life. This interactive collection of stories, quotes, theories and yes, science, guides you through the difficult years between ages 8 and 12 to help you make sense of yourself and the world around you. Everything is changing! And that’s okay! It’s actually more than okay — it’s exciting. These changes are the opening salvo of your gradual transition into “grownup,” and it’s the perfect time to define who you are, how you think and how you choose to face the world.

Is it a lot? Yes. But this book can help you sort things out and come out the other side shining. The journal format gives away the plot;

Spoiler Alert: the Brilliant Kid is you. No matter how you feel, no matter what’s happening in your head right now, you are not broken. You are a unique collection of talents and dreams and wants and surprises, and you have an entire lifetime ahead of you — aren’t you curious to discover just how awesome life can be? This book takes you inside your own head, out into the world and everywhere your dreams may take you. Learn how to make the kinds of choices that make you feel alive Conquer the three R’s of happiness: relationships, relationships and relationships Get a handle on today, tomorrow and what comes next Bounce back from the tough stuff, and discover the seven words that will change your life There’s a lot to learn, but one lesson is clear: never be afraid to shine. Stand up, stand out and be spectacular — whatever that means to you. Diary of a Brilliant Kid gives you the map and compass so you can start your own journey today.

Available for pre-order (Paperback) £9.67

Click here to order


Don’t Stew – Ask Sue Parenting Q & A

Q. Dear Sue, I am a Nanny to 2 wonderful children aged 7 and 3 & I want to be a perfect nanny, but I’m struggling with dealing with a couple who are using me as an emotional buffer. It’s all much trickier than I'd imagined. Any advice Sue, as I LOVE your website as I get loads of ideas from it around caring for children. Jess Robinson from Pimlico, London

Join my Club for Quick Win Videos on ages and stages, behaviour tips, potty training, bedtime routines and the Crucial ‘C’s

Being a nanny – whether you’re a Mary Poppins, a Nanny McPhee or a Mrs Doubtfire – is a very tricky job. You have to be liked by two opposing “teams” to which a “perfect” nanny means completely different things.

When you’re a nanny, kids come with parents. And parents come with problems, opinions and expectations of their own, often in conflict between themselves.

Lots of Nannies are looking to be the perfect Mary Poppins and find the perfect family. There’s no such thing as a perfect family. So I think you have to manage your own expectations.

However it’s not OK to put you in the middle of their conflicts, arguments and relationship – also it’s not part of your job and it’s NOT good for the kids either.
So my advice would be to ask for a ‘Family Meeting’ prepare in bullet points what you want to say. How you want to say it and when you want to say it.
So not at 7pm when the kids need bathing and Dad has just walked in the door.
Pick a good moment. Be confident, and non judgemental and start with ‘I wonder if you could help me as I feel ….. when ….. because…… and I wonder how you would best like me to handle this for everyone’s benefit.

They may not know they are doing it – but on the other hand they may but it’s about you all handling it better

Set the intention to resolve it and wait to see their answers…. Hope that helps

Q. Dear Sue, I’m a Play Therapist and I adore my job but often find it difficult to bring in parents who are anxious, uncertain and sometime hostile to criticism about what we are doing with their children. Any suggestions? Maeve McKiernan from Clare in Ireland.

I love that the job of a Play Therapist is to help children who are hurting on the inside, with their feelings.

I’ve written a full day’s workshop for Play Therapists on ways to engage, interact and help parents whose children are engaging in Play Therapy – I cover The Cheerleader Circle, The Crucial C’s and talk about your role as teacher, counsellor & consultant with practical ideas for each role.

Because of the high level of apprehension that parents exhibit, it is important for you as therapists to take time to listen and respond to parents’ needs, even though your primary clients are the children.

You will feel the need to provide specific guidelines for parents to prevent the children’s symptoms from being exacerbated at home and to further support their children’s recovery.

Child practitioners frequently encounter cases in which they have not to only discuss children’s progress with the child’s parents but also instruct them in regards to child development and parenting skills.

As child therapists you need to build relationships with parents through empathy and understanding while also providing emotional support to them.

It’s a difficult balancing act.

I wonder if thinking yourself in the role similar to your supervisor would help because there are similarities in terms of the role fulfilments between child practitioners and clinical supervisors. e.g listening to their struggles & challenges, & guiding, nurturing & advising

In my one day workshop we’ll be looking at: intake parent meetings, to family therapy, to child-parent sessions, to separate parent training sessions.

We’ll also include biological parents who have the primary legal responsibility in the child-rearing process as well as family members, relatives, or legally designated guardians.

Hope that helps – email me if you are interested in my Play Therapy – Play Therapy – Ways to Support Practitioners Workshop

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