SAPS101 – Practical tips to handle whining, complaining & moaning.
Posted by: Kevin Mulryne
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In this week’s episode
The Dangers of Creating Cotton Wool Kids.
Practical tips to handle whining, complaining & moaning.
Sue in Conversation with Lotte Stringer from Hector’s House a Charity Helping to Prevent Suicide.
Lotte’s full interview is now only available to members of Sue’s Parenting Club Online – click here to access the interview or click here to join and gain access to the library of Expert Interviews, Webinars, Parenting Masterclasses, Quick Win Tips (Videos) and other exclusive content.
“The world has less colour now Hector has gone.”
Hector Stringer took his own life at the age of 18 on the 20 April 2011. Nothing can prepare you for the unbelievable pain and grief you feel after losing a loved one in such tragic circumstances. The ‘what if’s’ and the ‘if onlys’ that we live with every day can at times feel overwhelming. If only we had known how he was feeling…?
Hector lived life loudly. He had a beautiful soul, and as cliché as it sounds, his smile genuinely would light up the room as soon as he entered it. He was full of energy, with a personality that people were drawn to. The twinkle in his eyes always made him look like he was up to mischief – he probably was, but he was just having fun! You couldn’t be mad at Hec for long, his laugh was infectious, and he’d soon give you a massive bear hug.
He surrounded himself with a wonderful circle of friends. He would do anything for them and they would for him. Hector would go out of the way to make everyone feel special, his kindness and open heart came second nature to him.
Hector’s love for music was all consuming, he was talented musician and performer. He played guitar and sang. He was in a band and they would often perform in pubs and gigs – he loved it. Hector would spend hours in the shed at the bottom of the garden practising or listening to songs that inspired him.
His crazy sense of humour means everyone that knew him has unique memories that will forever be cherished.
“The biggest lie in the UK told is ‘I’m fine’ and I think that was one of Hector’s problems,
he never wanted to put his problems on anybody else. I wish he had done.”
Connect with Lotte
Don’t Stew – Ask Sue Parenting Q & A
Almost all children whine and complain, but some do more of it. It’s usually around your confidence & assertiveness. Do you ‘ask’ your kids or ‘tell them’ I’ve been working 1-2-1 with a mum with kids 8 & 6 around bedtimes -as the 6 year won’t brush her teeth & recently had 6 teeth removed by the dentist. Mum was always asking & pleading so she doesn’t appear confident , in control or on top of her own rules.
We’ve worked on her rules, what is & isn’t acceptable & her confident voice, body language & making her voice go down in a command, not up in a request.
I told her the 4 x 4 analogy story from my latest Master Class in my Parenting Club – The Secret to Well Behaved Kids released this month
Kids whine to get your attention – be matter of fact – don’t match it- don’t get caught up in it – don’t get drawn in – no match no game
You might find the following resources useful
I was on LBC discussing the Dad who sawed his sons XBox in half because he couldn’t get him off it – like Kirsty Allsopp
It’s poor parenting especially as he put it up on YouTube – attention seeking parenting!
Here is an article that you might find interesting
Get your discipline right early so it doesn’t escalate to these dramatic moments
Anxious parents are raising a generation of ‘cotton-wool kids’ who are denied the independence, experience and education that comes from exploring the outdoor world.
Here my questions for you to ‘Pause To Ponder’
- What amount of time do your kids usually play outside?
- Do you feel it’s enough?
- How could you make a small change that would make a big difference, over time, if you found new ways to get your children out in the fresh air playing?
- How do you feel about safety, freedom and allowing your children to play unsupervised?
- How do you get a balance between keeping them safe and allowing them freedom to explore?
- What are your concerns?
- Are they rational?
Here is an article you might find useful
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