SAPS 195 – Parenting in a Pandemic: Is your Connection Stronger than your Wi-Fi?

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Posted by: Sue Atkins

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In This Episode :

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(only available to Members of Sue’s Parenting Club Online)

 

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Most mums and dads wish they had a superpower to help with parenting 😊

I read in The Mirror :

A study of parents found invisibility – so they can get some peace – and x-ray vision to allow them to see what their kids are up to through walls, would also be on their wish list.

 

 

The vast majority of parents (nine in 10) wish they had a superhero power to help with parenting and the ability to fly, time travel and never feeling tired top the choices.

A study of 2,000 mums and dads found invisibility – so they can get some peace – and x-ray vision to allow them to see what their kids are up to through walls, would also be on the wish list.

Another 24 percent dream of having healing abilities so they could easily deal with any bumps and bruises their kids pick up.

And more than one in 10 would simply settle for a superpower that made kids keep their bedrooms tidy.

Others would like super strength and speed, the ability to stop time and to be able to get ready at the click of their fingers.

What would your superpower be?


 

Tuppence Worth

Are schools are losing touch with some of the most vulnerable families across England during the pandemic?

 

 

Sue Chats about this Article in the Guardian :


 

‘Talk To Me First’ – Getting Teens To Open Up To You.

 

 

Communication can dry up during adolescence which is why people identify so much with Harry Enfield’s Kevin and Perry characters and that’s why the teenage stage has often been called the “grunt stage” but communication is a two-way process. It’s what we want and think, and what our teenagers want and think. Most of us are great at talking but less good at listening and understanding and we often only half-listen to our kids.

Here are some classic ways to switch off your teenager:

Asking too many questions

“Why did you say that?” “What did you say?”

Being bossy

“Do your homework right now and don’t argue”

Lecturing

“You should know better at your age”

Criticising/Shaming

“How could you be so stupid?”

Pitying

“I’m so sorry for you, you poor thing”

Rescuing – doing it for them

“Alright, I’ll do your homework for you so you don’t get into trouble”

Jumping to conclusions

“Late again! I suppose you’ve been up to no good getting back at this hour!”

Threatening and shouting

“If you don’t shape up you’re grounded for a week”

Always knowing best

“I told you that would happen, didn’t I!”

 

Most of us find ourselves lecturing, ordering and jumping to conclusions or even threatening our teenagers but if we always presume the worst and speak to our kids like this we block communication.

And, effective communication is the oil that lubricates a good family and builds a lasting relationship between teenagers and their parents.

Here are some Positive Parent Tips for good communication from my blog.

 

 

 

 

READ THIS : Parenting in a Pandemic: Is your Connection stronger than the Wi-Fi?


 

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Don’t Stew – Ask Sue Parenting Q & A

Q. ‘My twin daughters, aged 8, love being with each other. While they enjoy many same activities, I want to encourage them to explore their own interests. Is it wise to ask the school to keep them in different class sections?’ Shrishti Agarwal from Jaipur, India
A.

LISTEN TO SUE ANSWER THIS IN THIS WEEK’S PODCAST!

This is a very personal choice. Some children thrive in different classes, some children don’t. It’s important to take into account the personalities of your children when making your decision. A survey conducted by King’s College London found that twins separated at the start of primary school had more emotional problems, on average than twins who were kept together. This was particularly noticeable in identical twins.

It’s also helpful to discuss your children’s wishes with them and take them into account when you make a decision.

As we are living through a pandemic, so they may prefer to be together for support.

The benefits of keeping twins together at school include:

Twins often settle faster in school if they’re kept together. If they like being together, there are definite advantages to keeping them in the same class.

Twins who do not want to be separated may suffer if they’re forced apart. This may only make them more dependent on each other.

If twins are highly dependent and would be distressed to be separated, it’s better to keep them together.

If twins are highly competitive, it makes sense to separate them, but a mild rivalry can provide stimulation.

The Benefits Separating Twins

If 1 child is noticeably more able, either socially or academically than the other, separation can reduce the risk of comparisons and competition between the two.

Twins in the same class may display disruptive behaviour when they’re together.

If your children are too dependent on each other and are not separated, they may find it hard to mix with and relate to other children.

I hope that helps you make up your mind.

Sue

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