SAPS 158 – Teaching Tolerance in an Angry World: Let’s Talk Race, Class, Gender and Kids’ Conversations

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Posted by: Sue Atkins

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Show notes:

In This Week’s Episode :

(only available to Members of Sue’s Parenting Club Online)

Listen to the Full Interview with Charly Young

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Teaching Tolerance in an Angry World: Let’s Talk Race, Class, Gender and Kids’ Conversations.

 

Sue’s Tuppence Worth

 

It’s one tough subject that many parents are shying away from, and it’s not the birds and the bees.

A new study by the researchers at Sesame Street indicates a majority of parents may not be having a conversation about race, class, or ethnicity with their kids, the factors that make up social identities.

Sesame Street & the University of Chicago conducted a nationwide survey of more than 6,000 parents and found 68 percent of the respondents felt race has some impact on a child’s ability to succeed.

But 60 percent rarely discuss race or ethnicity or social class, even though kids notice differences at a very early age.

On the playground when children ask, ‘Hey Mum, why is that person’s skin colour different to mine? Why is that lady wearing something on her head?’ We tend to shush them up. We get embarrassed or think we’re going to offend someone.

The research suggests parents should look for events and opportunities to celebrate your child’s heritage, colour, religious beliefs, and family makeup and look for opportunities to discuss and embrace differences.

Look for the simple moments to ‘Talk & Teach’.

 

It could be a moment in the supermarket or a moment on the playground.

These are the moments that will help your child learn more about themselves and the diverse world around them.

The new study builds on previous research that finds a positive social identity and acceptance is associated with greater self-esteem, tolerance, and also better outcomes in the teen years and adulthood.

 

So when your child asks a question – embrace & use the moment to explain.

MY ARTICLE


Ooh la la! Valentine’s Day is around the corner..

The Six Needs of Every Successful Relationship – These Are The Keys to Lasting Love & Passion

Although most of us desire a healthy relationship it’s surprising how many of us don’t really understand what makes love survive long term. Most of us are bombarded with images of love and sex in magazines, TV adverts, and on the radio but often they idealise, romanticise or trivialise love. So it’s hard to work out what the keys to lasting passion and love are.

So much is written about it yet it is an emotion that gets the least attention within families and schools. We’re not taught about it – we just seem to either catch it, pick it up as we go along, or copy our own mum and dad’s relationship!

Yet there is perhaps no greater source of happiness, joy and fulfillment or heartache, despair or pain than love.

 

 

Keeping the glow with your partner is not easy and no matter where you are in your relationship it’s important to regularly check in on it from time to time to keep it fresh, keep it growing and keep it watered and nurtured.

With just a slight shift in your perceptions and beliefs about marriage and partnerships you can re-kindle the flame of love, re-ignite intimacy and fan the flames of passion if you are open and willing to give it a go.

Interestingly, we say we love the people in our lives, yet we often don’t act very lovingly with our words, our tone of voice or our body language or our attitude towards the very people who are the most important to us, and it’s ironic that no amount of money, success, status or fame will ever come close to the warm glow of a loving and nurturing relationship.

“Women are afraid to ask for what they want because they are afraid at a deep subconscious level that they will get replaced by someone less demanding and more compliant and men don’t even acknowledge that they want or need anything because if they do, it implies that they are not a real man. So we have two people sitting around wanting all these things from each other, probably capable of giving each other many of them, but not talking about it. Then they both feel depressed, both feel resentful, both feel deprived, they cheat on each other and you have a divorce. It could be prevented by straight-talking and clear asking.” – Barbara De Angelis Best-selling author and renowned relationship expert


Weighing up your work life balance – the ultimate toolkit.

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Are you stuck in the spin cycle of life………….. exhausted, wrung out and dizzy?

Do you find yourself falling into bed worn out, frustrated and complaining “Where did the time GO?”

Then welcome to the Club!

In this MP3/audio guide Sue will show you how to make your work/life balance simpler, more enjoyable and ultimately a more fulfilling experience. Drawing on the experiences of some of the best experts out there, Sue’s audio guide will give you the tools, techniques and strategies you need to be the best parent and employer you can be, whilst still keeping a healthy work/life balance.

Related product:

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The importance of effective communication

The Importance of Effective Communication Parenting can sometimes feel like you’re banging your head against a brick wall. No matter…

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Don’t Stew – Ask Sue Parenting Q & A

Q. Dear Sue, we are trying to work out what’s best for our childcare needs now that I am returning to work. What are your thoughts? Marnie Kensit from Bristol
A.

Sue’s Answer : 

Picking childcare that suits you and your family’s needs can be a daunting task

Like most parenting questions, there’s no single correct answer.

What’s right for the city-dwelling, single-child couple may be very different to what works for a family of four living in the countryside.

 

Crèche

  • A crèche is never ‘sick’ or on holidays
  • Think about its location and its size. Is small important to you? Call in unannounced to pick up the vibe and trust your intuition. Good opening hours that suit YOUR schedule?
  • Think Cost! – As a Crèche can be really expensive. Also, your child will pick up every bug going. But you feel this is due to happen at some stage, so you might as well get it out of the way now then go for it.
  • If reliability and social interaction are priorities, as well as home-cooked meals provided on-site, crèche could be your best bet.

 

Childminder

A childminder is someone who looks after your child in their home, not yours.

  • Are they Ofsted registered and inspected
  • Flexible
  • Ratio – think the ratio of care
  • Good if the consistency of care matters. If you are looking for a home away from home & like the idea that one person will be looking after your child and that they would get to know your child’s likes or dislikes – then a childminder is a great solution.
  • Check they are vetted, trained in first aid, and registered

 

Nanny

  • It can be costly, but it has huge advantages
  • One-to-one attention for your children, and no drop-offs or pick-ups before and after work, plus it’s like a family member if you get it right – there’s a huge level of trust in place. You know that your children are 100pc safe and well in their own home, in the care of someone who loves them nearly as much as you do.
  • Your Nanny is your employee and is entitled to all the benefits that any worker is entitled to, like 20 days annual leave a year. PAYE, PRSI, and USC need to be accounted for, and as an employer, you also pay the employer’s PRSI on top of the annual salary.

 

I have lots of advice for working well with a Nanny in my Club – webinars, and Facebook Lives chatting to The Nanny Collaborative and ‘Ask the Nanny’s Angela Johnson as I work closely with them.

 

Au Pairs

  • The primary consideration when hiring an au pair is that she lives in your house, and is available for a set number of hours only. But it’s a very inexpensive option, and works well for families outside urban areas.
  • Needs very clear rules, boundaries and guidance
  • You need to be open to accepting someone into your home; they are not an employee who should stay out of your way
  • Inexperienced

 

Extended family

The most common childcare providers today are extended family, primarily grandparents. For children, being cared for by family is a wonderful experience, but this only works well if grandparents are willing and physically able & you are clear on what is and what isn’t OK!

  • You may have to bite your tongue on minor child-rearing practices

 

Other things to consider

Finally, remember that situations change – while crèche may be great when you have one child, it can become prohibitively expensive if you have three. Likewise, a nanny might be too costly with a first child, but could make perfect sense with a bigger family. Starting school adds complications and often necessitates reassessing childcare. And many parents use a mix of different options throughout the childcare years.

While there’s no one perfect solution, and the cost is a challenge for most; once you do your research, there’s certainly a good option out there for every family.

 

What’s best for your child?

Look at your child – will a lively, stimulated crèche atmosphere suit, or is the quieter environment of a childminder preferable?

Check the finances – if extended family isn’t an option, an au pair is the least-expensive solution, followed by a childminder, then crèche, then nanny.

Ask friends about their childcare options to get a sense of what works.

If you’re thinking about crèche, do visit a number of providers so you can make comparisons.

Look at logistics – your commute, traffic, location of childcare – can you get back before crèche closes?

Consider a crèche near your workplace – as well as mitigating the risk of traffic, it means you can visit your baby during the workday – a lovely perk, and handy if you’re breastfeeding.

If you leave very early for work, an au pair or a nanny works well, so children don’t have to leave early too.

 

Read My Article in the Link Below.  

Free ebook, The Positive Parent Daily Workout

Simply enter your details below to get your very own copy of “The Positive Parent Daily Workout” and learn tips and tricks to use every day with your own children.

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