SAPS 106 – “So, do you want kids?” 10 essential parenting questions you’ve GOT to ask your partner. 6 Parenting Tips When Your Child is Disruptive in Class Plus · Ant McPartlin Diagnosis & Sue’s Masterclass on ADHD

Talking about these things can help you get on the same page so you can help each other when you are at your wits’ end. You can more easily know and feel that you are on the same team, working for the same objectives with your kids.

This is what I call “the big lines” of parenting.

When parents are aligned on the big lines, it makes parenting a lot easier. You can stay calm easier because you have support and you don’t need to sweat the small stuff when you know what the big picture looks like.

It’s key to examine your default settings, know what you want to change, and agree on the big lines so you can help each other during tough times.

1. What do you think some of your default settings would be from your parents? What are things they did with you? These are things you will most likely repeat simply because we are programmed to do this unless we are conscious of it.
2. What are things you liked from how your parents raised you (and want to repeat)?
3. What are some things you absolutely do not want to repeat?
4. How are these things different or similar to your partner? Can you see gaps where you can help one another because you had a different or similar experience?
5. How did your parents discipline you/your partner?
6. How do you want to discipline your own children (e.g., shouting, time-outs, Smacking, explanations)?
7. What are your values as parents? IMPORTANT! Respect, kindness etc
8. What are your big lines of parenting? What is absolutely okay/not okay for your child to do (e.g., hitting, biting, not eating, leaving the table, throwing food)?
9. Education is a biggie too ! Discuss !
10. Now that you have talked about the big lines and your values as parents, what are some strategies for how you can help each other when the other one is losing their cool? But until you have them you’ll probably never know !

By talking about these questions in detail you can save a lot of unnecessary blame and misunderstandings. You can stand stronger as a couple and as a family because you know how to support each other and are clear on what your values are.

It doesn’t take much to take the time to talk about it, but it can make all the difference for the life of your child.
It’s worth it.

Here is an article I have written that might help you – if you need any further support, please feel free to book a call with me

6 Parenting Tips When Your Child is Disruptive in Class.