The Baby Blogs. Day 16 – Preparing Your Older Child for Your New Arrival

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Having a new baby is very exciting but your older child may worry about what all the changes may mean to them as for the last year or two they have probably been the centre of your universe so it’s a good idea to prepare them for this exciting new arrival. 

Here’s an exercise from my Amazon best selling book “Parenting Made Easy – How To Raise Happy Children” that my editor Louise really wanted to put in the book.

Pregnancy Preparations

Sibling Showdown & Meltdown !

Even if you do everything I’ve just suggested, your child will still act up at times. These problems are a normal part of becoming an older sibling. Here’s how to tackle them:

Tip 16 Allow some frustration. Toddlers take it to heart when they don’t get equal time or get it exactly when they want it so be patient with them and see things from their point of view.

I want you to relax and do an exercise that you may find very interesting.

Just put in your own word that fits your circumstances – “husband” or “wife”  “partner” or “he” or “she” throughout this exercise.

Enlightening Exercise.

Just imagine that your partner has come home and puts their arm around you and says “You know I love you so much and I think you’re really wonderful so I’ve decided to add another wife to our lives just like you.”

Write down your reaction                       

When the new “wife” finally arrives you see that she’s younger than you and very cute. When people see you all together out shopping they say hello to you politely but really fuss and pay attention to the new wife saying things like “ohhh isn’t she pretty and soooo adorable – sooo amazing”

Then they turn to you and say “And how do you like your new wife then – isn’t she lovely?”

Write down your reaction

The new wife needs some new clothes so your husband goes into the cupboard and starts taking out your clothes – all your lovely jumpers and trousers and things you loved to wear and he helpfully points out that now you’re bigger you won’t be wanting them anymore so isn’t it great that you can pass them on to your lovely new wife?

Write down your reaction

Every month your new wife is growing  quickly and developing in new and different ways to you and one evening while you are struggling with your computer  she pops in and says –  “Ohh great – this is how you do it – it’s so easy isn’t it – what fun!”

Write down your reaction

When you feel all indignant and tell her to stop doing things you find annoying or interrupting you she runs off to your husband crying and complaining about you.

He immediately storms over to you with his arms around her saying “ Honestly I can’t believe you – what do you think you’re doing upsetting her like this – why can’t you just share and take turns – you’re older and supposed to be wiser than her?.”

Write down your reaction

So what did you discover about yourself from doing that exercise? I’d love you to leave a comment on the bottom of the blog 🙂

I found it really illuminating to see the world from that point of view as it really changed my attitude about being a sibling – I hope you found it fun.

The point of this exercise is to change your perspective on being a sibling.

Your job is not to keep your children free of frustrations, but to help them learn how to manage them. If your toddler becomes impatient, for example, set a time when you can give them your attention. (“Jason, you’ll have to wait until I finish feeding Sara, but then we can go to the park.”)

 

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If you’d like more of  my practical ideas & simple tips from potty training to sleeping routines sign up for my Parenting  Club

 

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