Top Tips For Talking To Your Children

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Posted by: Sue Atkins

 

 

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Reframing can make a BIG difference.

 

How and when we choose to talk to our children can have a profound affect on their future happiness.

When I work with parents I talk and teach them how to “reframe”.

Reframing is how we change the language we use to describe and discuss situations.

Denmark has been voted as the happiest country in the world for over 40 years in a row & the Dane’s ability to reframe with their children is a major contributor for this.

The language we use with our children is extremely powerful but not many of us spend any time pondering what we say or how we say it.

Why Reframing Is Important.

How we describe something affects how we feel about it. Our frame on the world has a huge affect on how we feel about the world. Teaching kids to reframe can change their lives.

Reframing with children is all about listening carefully and acknowledging how they feel and then about turning a negative into something more positive or empowering.

Bringing up kids is a bit like trying to tame jelly – all wobbles and no rules, but here are some quick, easy & simple tips for talking to your kids that will make a BIG difference to your happiness and harmony !

INSTEAD OF ….

” If you don’t finish your breakfast, we’re not going to the park.”

TRY THIS …

“After you’ve finished your breakfast, then we can go to the park.”

INSTEAD OF …..

“I’ve told you that you can’t have Rice Krispies because we’ve run out. Don’t keep on asking me.”

TRY THIS ……

“I know that you really wanted Rice Krispies. I really wish that I had a magic wand to make a giant box appear just for you. Let’s make a list of things we need to buy in the shops later.”

INSTEAD OF …..

“I’m NOT telling you again. Come HERE!”

TRY THIS …..

” Do you want to come by yourself or shall I help you ?”

INSTEAD OF ….

“Stop throwing a tantrum or I’ll put your toy ( Tedddy, Lego, jigsaw, game ) in the bin.”

TRY THIS. ….

“I know you’re feeling really sad that we have to go and you can’t play with your toy. Would you like a hug to make you feel better?’

Re- framing is a simple way for you to find the positives in your children’s behaviour, & it is a subtle but powerful way to help you to promote healthier attitudes toward your children and it will definitely help to raise their self-esteem.

Treat it as a new game for you to play as a parent – and have fun reframing situations, tense moments and your way of speaking to your kids.

Let me know how you get on – leave a comment and let’s have fun sharing ideas.

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