Divorce – Top Tips To Keep Yourself Sane
Posted by: Sue Atkins
To help you navigate the journey through Divorce I’ve recently launched a new series of free Divorce videos called -> Divorce Step by Step.
Divorce Step By Step has been set up specifically to help you address the range of issues and matters you have to face when going through a divorce. I have been through the process myself so I know 1st hand how you are feeling and what you are going to go through.
I have come out the other side, stronger and fitter in every sense of the word. It’s not easy but with the right help and guidance the Divorce Step By Step videos will help you to help yourself make it less of a minefield.
I think it’s really important that you remember that divorce is a process NOT an event.
No two divorce situations are identical, but I believe sharing your story will be extremely helpful to other people going through the same process. Simply email me your divorce story. All contributions will be edited to keep the identity of everyone anonymous and names will be replaced with initials and we won’t publish any anonymous contributions.
The website is not a place to vent your anger at your ex – it’s a place to get information, ideas & strategies and it’s my intention to empower you to make good decisions going forward.
Divorce – Top Tips To Keep Yourself Sane
Divorce brings with it many negative emotions. Some of these emotions can cause stress that will interfere in our ability to function in our every day lives. The biggest favour you can do yourself is to learn how to relax, & let go of the stress. Focus more on keeping yourself active, healthy and moving forward instead of staying stuck.
All it takes is being willing to be good to yourself. Recognising and dealing with stress is an important aspect of living a healthy productive life.
Below are some suggestions for ways of handling your stress during the difficult process of divorce.
- Make sure you pay attention to your emotional needs.
Find a support group to participate in, or a professional to talk to. Finding someone to talk to and listen to you can go a long way when you are feeling overwhelmed, angry, frightened and exhausted emotionally.
- Keep yourself physically fit.
Stay as active as possible by keeping a regular exercise routine. Nothing helps your emotions bounce back better than physical activity. It can be as simple as walking your dog or riding your bike but it will help in relieving tense, anger and anxiety.
- Do things that will nurture you emotionally and physically.
Read a good book, get plenty of rest, take a hot bath, light scented candles, sit by a log fire or walk in the sunshine, develop a new hobby, eat healthy and nutritious foods, and surround yourself with positive people. Put effort into living a lifestyle that will promote feelings of good self-worth and nurture your spirit.
- Let go of problems that are beyond your control.
If you are faced with an uncomfortable or painful situation learn to let it go, take some time to figure out what is best for you and then come back to it. Stay focused on what you have control over and let go of the rest. This is very difficult at 3am in the morning so find a way of dealing with your stress at your key trigger times and break that pattern.
- Give yourself permission to feel all the gambit of emotions.
Emotions are normal, whether they are negative or positive emotions. What we do with the emotions we are feeling plays a big role in the quality of life we experience. So make a conscious effort to avoid destructive activities such as drinking or drugs when you are trying to deal with your feelings. Don’t allow your feelings to cause you to seek revenge, play the victim or become abusive toward your spouse. If you are hurt or angry, it is best to find someone safe to vent to and get those feelings out of your system healthily. Play squash, play a round of golf or hit a pillow but do allow yourself to feel all the range of emotions. Bottling them up is not good for you.
- Change any expectations you have.
No one has any control over the feelings and actions of another person. We might think that during our marriage we had some control but we didn’t. Now that there is a divorce in process we have even less control than before. Let go of trying to control any aspect of what your spouse may feel or what actions they will take. Let go of what you feel the outcome should be and learn to accept whatever might happen.
- Don’t make any hasty decisions.
When you are living through a highly stressful situation any decisions or changes to your life should not be made until you have thought of all the consequences. Take time to think things through and thoroughly weigh all your options. Don’t rush decisions – pause and ponder.
- Be sure to make time for fun.
Remember to laugh and have fun. Schedule activities that bring you pleasure and participate in them regularly. Maintain a close circle of friends and socialise often even if you don’t feel like it initially, over time you will feel better. Do not isolate yourself from others.