The Behaviour Blogs Part 8 ~ Influence your kids rather than control them
Posted by: Sue Atkins
As a former Deputy Head and class teacher for over 25 years I discovered that it was my job to inspire kids to behave for the right reasons.
Giving stickers, giving my weekly trophy and giving lots of positive praise did over time influence the children I taught to change their behaviour and learn self discipline – because that’s what I was after ….. the kids being able to control their own behaviour in the long term.
Losing Golden Time minutes, staying in at play times or missing out at lunchtimes were all effective sanctions for some kids because they limited the child’s behaviour long enough for me to then spot and reward the behaviour I did want to see.
Kids are either motivated towards something …. or motivated away from something so work out what motivates your individual child and you have cracked an important way of discipling them – as even kids in the same family can be motivated differently.
I preferred being positive so thumbs up, big smiles, hugs, thank yous, stars , stickers , easy button pressing, half an hour more TV, an extra story etc are all fun and positive ways to influence your child to, over time, change their behaviour.
So get clear on what is and what isn’t acceptable in your house, praise your kids – even if they are 16 and 18 like mine, plan for good behaviour and balance prevention with cure !
And always remember a smile is a curve that puts a lot of things straight !
Words to Tell Your Children When They’re Older.
“I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would come home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room – a job that would have taken me 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you assume responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh. They almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say” no” when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of them all.
I’m glad I won them, because in the end, you won something, too.”
So just for this week what can you do differently to inspire your kids to behave for the right reasons?
If you’d like to have more of my tools, tips and techniques from Toddler to Teen download my “Secrets To Well – Behaved Kids” MP3 NOW !