If you really loved me I wouldn’t have to ask !
Posted by: Sue Atkins
Keeping the Glow with your Partner –
Do you want more attention, more respect, more help with the kids, more hugs, more romance, more surprises, more time together, more intimacy, and more fun? Someone to babysit, iron the shirts, help make the dinner sometimes or hang up the towels in the bathroom?
“But I shouldn’t have to ask” is the refrain I’ve heard many, many times on workshops and when I’m coaching.
But this is a false belief.
It’s also a false belief that causes untold pain, suffering, anger and despair for many couples because unless you are living with a mind reader your partner won’t know what you want unless you ask!
It’s that simple!
It doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you – they just have their own map of the world and their own way of thinking and experiencing the world – and it just means they haven’t fully developed their psychic powers enough yet!
Just like the genie in the lamp couldn’t grant you any of your wishes if you didn’t tell him what they were, your partner can’t try to guess either.
Your partner can’t fulfil your wishes, dreams or needs if they don’t know what they are!
So tell them.
Men really are from Mars and women are from Venus if you don’t spell out what you want.
“If you really loved me, I wouldn’t have to ask” is just not true.
It is entirely possible that your partner loves you to bits but their idea of a good night out is a beer and a curry and yours is champagne and smoked salmon.
So be specific. Give your partner a chance to respond in the way you’d like them to and don’t expect them to be a mind reader. If you want a picnic by the sea – ask for it. If you want to go horse racing – ask for it.
Don’t nag, whine, complain or criticise – just simply, pleasantly, cheerfully and respectfully ask – don’t tell, don’t boss, don’t demand and don’t shout…… just ask and let the magic and fun begin !
Happy Valentine’s Week!
February is Pass It Forward Month! So if you have found this blog helpful and thought provoking please pass it forward to your friends, colleagues, schools and nurseries……. because as they say ….“Alone we can do so little together we can do so much”
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About the author
Sue Atkins is a Parenting Expert who offers practical guidance for bringing up happy, confident, well behaved children. She is also the author of “Raising Happy Children for Dummies” one in the famous black and yellow series published worldwide and the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy CDs. She regularly appears on BBC Breakfast and The Jeremy Vine Show on BBC Radio 2 and her parenting articles are published all over the world.
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Sue Atkins the Parenting Expert
T: + 44 1342 833355 M: 07740 622769
Surrey RH7 6LF